The Payez's

Well.....

2009-06-30T21:39:00.000-07:00

Most of you already know this by now, but I jinxed myself a few posts back.

I REALLY AM PREGNANT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!! NOT JOKING!

I was feeling kind of queasy one day and surprisingly the past few months I had been getting my period on a very regular basis and then discovered that I was a week late. So one night at 10:30 after the girls were in bed I made a trip to walmart to get a pregnancy test, JUST TO EASE MY MIND. Well imagine my surprise when I saw the pregnant line before I was even done peeing on the thing. I literally jumped to my feet and ran with shaking hands to the living room to show Justin. He of course didn't believe me (did I really believe it myself?) Well needless to say, 10 home tests, 3 blood tests (the last one being over 29,000 miu hcg) and 3 ultrasounds (one which we heard and saw a heartbeat)....I think it's safe to say we are expecting baby #3! Now of course, I am only about 9 weeks along and anything can happen. I have to keep telling myself it's never a sure thing. We ordered another doppler rental and should get it in a few days, that will definitely help ease my mind. I will update again soon when we know more!!!!

Ferring and Easter

2009-05-06T21:58:00.000-07:00

http://www.ferringfertility.com/mylittlemiracle/archive/2008/payez.asp

Well there is my essay for the world to read!

Also, someone from Ferring called me last week and asked if I could be interviewed and recorded for a video they are putting together concerning the medicines that I took. Of course I said yes and had my interview today. It went well and I am looking forward to seeing what comes of it. Anything I can do to help someone else that was in my position is the least I can do.

The twins are absolutely amazing. I swear everyday there is no way I could love them any more than I do at that moment, and yet each day they prove me wrong. They are so full of life and their personalities are just incredible. They are really starting to communicate with people other than eachother and that's fascinating. They understand what I tell them and ask them and find a way to give me an answer. We are so looking forward to a fun-filled summer and doing lots of fun things like go to the zoo. I will post some pictures when I can and will try to update more often.

Here are some pics from Easter!

19 Months....my apologies!!

2009-03-16T00:10:00.000-07:00

It has been WAYYYY too long since I blogged last. I hope I haven't lost any readers, but I can only do so much. Mady and Savannah are just too adorable for words and BUSY BUSY BUSY. It is so hard to keep up with them and they are in the phase where they continually pick on eachother. Someone is always getting bitten...sometimes me! Christmas was a success, Santa was very generous with the girls this year and I think they were a little taken aback when they came down the stairs on Christmas morning (well, when we brought them down...it hasn't been THAT long!) Not too much has happened since then....this is the time of year that I despise...I know Spring is coming, I am just waiting for it. I have undergone some changes myself recently...started working part-time for my dad in January and I really am enjoying it. Working with/for family can be difficult but we are so much alike that I think it is going to be a really good thing for both of us. I also had lap-band surgery in late January. It has been a challenge (much like everything else in my life) but I think the ends will justify the means. My weight has gone up and down so many times, and that has really taken it's toll on me, emotionally. Just like I am bitter with people who are able to get pregnant so easily, I am also bitter with people who are thin and don't even worry about their diet. And don't even get me started on the skinny fertile ones....that's just too harsh to think about. ;) But I have lost 36 pounds to date since my consultation in December, and 25 since the surgery. I am pretty much back to normal now, eating solid foods again (I was on liquids for WAY too long) and my eating habits are a 180 degree difference from before surgery. I want control of my life, and am starting with my weight. This is something that has been nagging at me since puberty probably and I am ready to put it behind me and move on. While I know this will always be a battle, I want it to be something that I am in control of. Anyway, enough about myself!

And on to the big news.........I'm PREGNANT again!!!

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JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get back on your chair now, and read the rest of this post.

The big news is really that MY BABIES ARE GOING TO PRESCHOOL THIS FALL. It's a 2 year old program but still, this is the first of many steps up in their education. I can't even fathom the idea of preschool but I think its just a great thing. They will be socializing with kids other than eachother and making friends and learning about themselves and I am very excited about it...nostalgic, but excited. It's 2 days a week for an hour and a half at our church. It's the same place where I went and the director of the preschool was my first teacher way back in the day. It's just another milestone in a line of many to come.

So that's about it for now, I suppose. I am really going to try and get some pictures up from December until now. Thanks for being faithful readers and sticking in with me!

I am SOOOO lucky.

2008-12-08T01:55:00.000-08:00

I love my Mady!

Last but certainly not least, Savannah giving the camera a very cute little grin!

Putting words together

2008-12-08T01:23:00.000-08:00

I always wondered (and still do) about how children pick up their native language so easily. I just can't imagine going to another country and picking up on the language like that. But it's just amazing. Madyson has been saying words for a while now as I have said, but the other day before I left for work, I was putting on my coat to leave and Savannah said "buh bye, Momma!" Talk about surprised! They always wave to Justin when he leaves at night and have just recently picked up that the wave is associated with bye bye, so now they wave and say buh bye (well actually it's more Savannah that does it which is surprising since Mady talks the most). Just goes to show you how different children of the same age can be.

The past few nights have been very difficult. Since I started working part-time for Christmas, I am not as able to get up a lot in the night as I do when I don't work. It's very heartwarming actually, I think that they just don't feel good because of their molars coming in and Savannah just really wants me there with her. I rock her (which is getting really hard to do...she's getting so big) and she yawns and looks so content just being with me. And I am just content watching her sleep but I have been getting so tired I have to get some sleep when I can. It breaks my heart because she wakes up instantly when I put her down and reaches for me. I have to let her cry it out sometimes...she always falls back asleep but it makes me feel horrible. I can't put her in my bed because number 1, she won't sleep...she'll just stand on my pillow and look out that window while jumping up and down, and number 2, she rolls all over and will fall off if she ever did fall asleep.

They are on the brink of turning 16 months old...holy cow. It was 2 years ago that I was enduring daily needles and literally putting all my eggs in one basket. I never in a million years imagined that my life could be so fulfilled by those two precious babies. Of course, I get frustrated...every day. Twins are not easy by any stretch but there are WAY more good times than stressful ones. I am still so in love, I know I always will be.....forever.

So much....so long!!

2008-11-30T23:56:00.000-08:00

Where do I even begin? It has been so long since I have posted I don't remember what has happened. The twins are amazingly busy right now; this is by far, the most difficult stage so far. They are tall enough to reach onto counters, tables, cabinets, etc. and pull anything and everything that they desire into their reach. This makes life interesting, that's for sure. Never a dull, or quiet moment as long as they are awake. They are 15 months now which seems just insane. We were supposed to go back to Dr. Mitchell a few weeks ago but his wife had their baby a month early so we had to reschedule for the week before Christmas. I am desperate to see how much they weigh and how tall they are. But they are just so amazing! While I say this is the most difficult stafe, it's also very heartwarming. They are totally interacting with eachother, holding hands, playing, and of course biting, pushing, and the other fun stuff. But when one is upset, the other is there to offer a hug which they love to do now and I swear just thinking about them comforting eachother makes me well up. We have so much fun discovering new things together as a family. Putting the Christmas tree up this year felt like it did when I was a kid. They were so amazed that this tree just grew right in the middle of our house. So far they haven't bothered it too much though their aren't any ornaments yet because we are testing the water.

As for milestones let's see: Savannah is starting to cut molars (YIKES) and is starting to squat when she.......uh hem...well you get it. So I think Santa is bringing us a potty this year, how exciting. Mady is advancing in totally different ways: she is getting some more teeth but none as much as her sister, she says "pop" or "papa" meaning poppy or papaw, can understand "dadda" in picures, loves "kitty" and "tux" (All dogs are tux, because that is the name of Justin's parents dog). We are virtually off the bottle and onto sippies except for a podee of water at night that I leave in their cribs (I get thirsty at night so they might too)! We are eating lots of solid foods now but they still don't take to milk, not that I blame them. I HATE milk, always have. But I realize that they (especially Mady) need the fat so I make their oatmeal with milk in the morning and before bed, and disguise it with some pureed fruit. That's only 8 oz. a day when I would really like them to have 16 but it's better than nothing.

The blog has been majorly spammed. I used to get a few comments here and there that were spam, but now I have about 3000 that need moderated. So I will probably turn the comment feature off and possibly require a password to view the blog. I really hate to do it, but I don't like spam. I will let you know how it ends up. Sorry to have been lacking recently, but I started working part time for Christmas and it really is difficult even just to leave for 8 or 12 hours a week. It totally has gotten me out of my groove. I will try to do better, but here is a small update for now! Thanks for reading!!

99 Balloons

2008-10-28T23:21:00.000-07:00

For those who watch Oprah, you already saw this. But if you haven't seen it, watching it might make you count your blessings. I had a very rough day with the girls today. They were cranky because we were inside all day due to the frigid weather. They were into EVERYTHING, picking on eachother, and really testing me. I kept cool but inside I was waiting for my time after they were in bed. The first thing I did was sit down to watch Oprah and this video was shown. Right as it was over, as if on cue, Mady started crying. I couldn't get up the steps fast enough. I was so happy to be holding my healthy child...I did something that I haven't done in a while...I rocked and cried. I have missed my moments like this and it's nice to be reminded that it could have turned out differently. I am so incredibly blessed and I thank God for this gift he has given us. I remember what it's like to cherish every single day....I did that for virtually my entire pregnancy, and still today; at night before I fall asleep even if it's only those two words that I say "thank you," it's my last thought. Anyway, prepare yourself.

Essay contest

2008-10-21T20:16:00.000-07:00

I went to Charlotte last weekend to visit my sister and go to my old friend, Kat's grandfathers; 95th birthday celebration. Mady had a cold and was miserable so the first night was LONG and sleepless. Going out of town without Justin is so hard right now. But the party was very fun and the girls were a delight so it was a successful venture. And to update on the essay contest....Justin called me on my way to NC and told me that a certified letter came from Ferring. No I did not win the big one, but I did get honorable mention! And I am very excited about it. I have been writing for literally as long as I can remember but this was the first time I had ever entered a writing contest of any sort. So the girls won a $500 scholarship...I can't complain! Not only will my story get out there to help other women going through what I went through, but I will get to start a fund for the girls to get a college education. They are contacting Dr. McGinnis' office to arrange for a ceremony where they will give us our prize and so forth. Anyway, it may not be a huge deal, but I am enormously proud!

Ignorance is bliss.

2008-10-02T20:17:00.000-07:00

I normally do not talk about, write about, or even try to think about politics or the horrible things that are happening in this world. I figure that unless I am totally educated on a subject, I can't have an accurate opinion--and because I try to stay away from world news I don't really have much of an opinion. But lately I have been letting myself slip into the current politics...or at least the issues that are important to me. Not for the sake of voting because, I am ashamed to say, I do not vote. And the reason I don't vote is the same reason...I am not educated enough to know who I really want in any particular office. After hearing some debates and letting my curiosity get the best of me I really wish I was just ignorant. I ran across something called the "Induced Infant Liability Act" and the "Born Alive Infant Protection Act." These bills would have protected babies that were induced prematurely for the sake of an abortion (partial birth abortion). For example, a woman gets an abortion at 25 weeks but the baby is born alive. Under this act, these babies would try to be resuscitated rather than dying a slow death unwanted, and alone. BUT instead these babies are taken to a room where they are wrapped up and left to die. Well I learned that Obama fought against both of these bills. And I have not educated myself enough to find out whether or not the bill passed on a federal level but you can bet I am going to learn as much about the subject as I can. I wrote this to put the word out and try to get other people interested, but also just to make myself feel better. I am just devastated by the thought of this. One more way being a mother has dramatically changed me. Here is a good link to check out...I also saw a video but I don't want to share it....it made me way too emotional.

http://www.humanevents.com/article.php?id=18647

Like I said, I don't normally share my political views but this is a given.

My sister's wedding

2008-09-15T18:51:00.000-07:00

Lindsay got married exactly 1 month ago and she was a stunning bride (as I knew she would be). Here are some pics....

Aunt Lindsay with her flower girls...

Ah how fast it goes.

2008-09-10T20:18:00.000-07:00

Today marks another month...they are 13 months old. And SOO amazing! First, Madyson is walking now....really really walking. She walks all over the place, even tries to run though she just falls on her bum when she does. It's so amazing how different they are now. Savannah wants to walk and even though she is bigger, she just isn't there yet. And today while I was changing Mady, she grabbed my side like I do when I tickle her and of course I am ticklish so I giggled...well she just loved that. So now everytime I change her she gets so excited to tickle mommy and she and I just laugh and laugh. These are times that are just the best. I am really having fun with them and even though I know that before long they won't need me to carry them everywhere I am looking forward to all the changes and fun ahead. Just wanted to give a little update...now I am off to wash bottles (they only get a few a day now and I am not worried about letting them have them, just so you know). Who am I to tell a baby "no?" ;)

If I knew then what I know now...

2008-09-06T20:10:00.000-07:00

I wrote an essay for a contest that Ferring Pharmaceuticals is having. They are the company that made the drugs that I took during my IVF. First prize is a $10,000 scholarship fund! So I figured, what the heck. I love to write and it was easy. So here it is! I really wrote from my heart and even though I neglected to mention that after losing my mother I gained a FABULOUS replacement, there is still something about biology. I rarely talk about my mom or the impact of her death on my life. And while I love my mom (new mom) more than anyone will ever truly know, I have always wondered what it would be like. So as I was typing, the words just appeared and because writing is my therapy, I didn't change them. There is more to my story that not being able to get pregnant. The pain has always been there, long before I thought about having babies. There have been periods in my life where I really thought about her, wondered what life would be like. But as I am an avid believer in a higher power, I know that this was the way it was supposed to be. My mom has been an angel, the most caring and compassionate person I have ever met and she truly feels like I am hers. And I feel that way too, but there is still something missing. And now I look at my daughters and think that I was their age almost when my mom passed away and that makes me so sad. But I look at them and sometimes I see her. I will never forget about her and I hope she is proud of me and the mother that I am.

The essay is meant to inspire other women going through the same thing, and the topic was "If I knew then what I know now." Please leave me a comment and let me know what you think. Like I said before, it is truly heartfelt.

Creating a Mother: A Despairing Journey

I believe that everything happens for a reason. I was only two years old when my mother was taken from me forever. I was the youngest and only little girl in a family of 3 brothers plus my dad. A maternal bond is something so incredibly special, but I would grow up never knowing what that truly felt like; until I became a mother myself. From a very early age when asked what I wanted to be when I grow up, the answer was always the same: a mom. But I never imagined that the journey that would take me there would have such a huge and lasting impact on my life. After marrying the love of my life and spending a year together, we were so excited to be at the point in our lives where we could start a family of our own. What should have been the most exciting time in my life quickly became the most difficult. Month after month I was filled with despair. It seemed as though there were couples having babies everywhere around me. Every night as I sat alone I wondered why I was being punished. I will never know my mother, and the thought of never knowing my children pushed me to keep going. I knew in my heart that something was not right and was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome by my family physician after a year of trying to conceive. She prescribed me clomid and after three rounds of increasing doses, sent me to an OB/GYN. She also prescribed clomid plus added metformin to the equation. I was now taking all of this medicine (which caused the most horrible side-effects) and still, nothing was happening. After blood work showed that I had not yet ovulated, I endured a hysterosalpinogram. The test showed that my fallopian tubes were fine, but nonetheless I was still not ovulating. In addition to my PCOS, we learned that my husband had a low sperm count as well as poor motility due to a variocele that was repaired years before. It was after two painful years of trying for our miracle, we were referred to a reproductive endocrinologist. And it was during the consultation I heard the words that I had been dreading. In Vitro Fertilization was something that I knew a lot about, thanks to the research I had done on the subject of infertility. There was a good chance that I would never conceive a child "the old fashioned way" and I was prepared to accept help. I desperately longed for a child of my own—to feel the bond that I had been longing for and was bound and determined to make it happen. But there I was hearing that I had to jump right into what I considered my "last resort" and that broke my heart. I had grown up wondering what it would be like to have a biological mother, someone who could tell you stories about how much you kicked her when she was pregnant, or what her thoughts were when she saw you for the first time. And here I was, now thinking that biology was still not on my side. Some days I wanted to pretend there was nothing really wrong and that I would just become pregnant when the time was right. After all, isn’t that the way it happened for everyone else? I wanted to think that all of those people were right when they said things like, "just relax and it will happen" or "you're just trying too hard." But after weighing my options, I knew I wanted a baby of my own, and as the reality sunk in I was filled with a renewed sense of hope. There was a doctor in front of me giving me a reason to believe and I was now seeing the light at the end of this long, dark tunnel. I was told that I would be taking Bravelle, Menopur, and Novarel, and after a long waiting game, it was now my turn.
I was only 23 years old when I began the IVF process. My husband gave me the injections day after day, and everyday it got easier, physically and emotionally. I saw my ovaries (via ultrasound at appointments) doing what God intended them to do and that was just incredible. The injections were working and for the first time I really felt like I had a chance. When the time was right my eggs (nine) were retrieved and fertilized (via ICSI). The cells multiplied just as they should and three days later we transferred three very promising embryos into my uterus. And then we prayed, and waited. It was Christmas Eve when I got the phone call that will stay in my heart forever. The IVF was a success--I was pregnant! The next six weeks flew by as I was on cloud nine. When I saw that first ultrasound I had never been so filled with joy. Not one, but two heartbeats were visible on the screen. TWINS! The atmosphere in the room was electric. This had been the most difficult time in my life by far, but the ends more than justified the means.
My pregnancy was amazing. I felt more full of life than I ever had, and as I watched my body expand and felt the movements of life inside, I cried. But the tears of sadness and desperation were replaced by tears of joy and excitement. I was really going to be a mom. The hole in my heart would now have a fix, and even if not completely, I was going to have what I had been so envious of for the past twenty years.

One year exactly after my initial consultation, I brought new life into the world. On August 10, 2007, Madyson Avery and Savannah Grace entered the world with strong yet song-like cries. Weighing in at 5 lbs. 13 oz. and 5 lbs. 7 oz., they were healthy and full of life. They were the most beautiful things I had ever seen.
The journey was a difficult one, but at that moment I knew that this was meant to be. I was their mother and as I held them in my arms for the first time, I spoke my thanks to the people who got me to that point. Without the help of an incredible doctor (and his amazing staff), and the medication that gave my body the help that it needed, I would not be where I am.
I wouldn’t wish infertility on my worst enemy. The years leading here were the most despondent and saddest of my life, but it is because of that pain and the struggle that I am who I am today. I am the proudest mother of twin girls, and there isn’t a single day that goes by that I don’t remember those appointments filled will bad news, and am more grateful than I could ever convey in words. This past year with my daughters has taught me so much about myself and about life in general. If I knew then what I know now I would have ached for it so much more; I would have cried twice the tears and wanted it twice as badly.
If you would have told me three years ago that I would have a perfect family--two amazing children, I would have called you crazy. But looking back, if I could do it all over, I wouldn’t change a thing. The sorrow I felt made me the person that I am…the mother that I am now. And I want my life just how it is.

- Conceiving a child is an act of nature, conceiving a child through IVF is an act of science that is willed by the hand of God.

1 Year....

2008-08-23T22:35:00.000-07:00

A year with my twins.....the slideshow we had at their party but I screwed up...here it is. ENJOY!!!!!!!!

Checkup

2008-08-22T22:08:00.000-07:00

We had our 1 year checkup Wednesday. It was.....scary. First off, they weighed 20 lbs. (S) and 17 lbs. (M) and are both 28 inches long. While Savannah is in the 75%, Mady is in the 5th. He didn't seem too concerned but told us to switch completely to whole milk. They don't like it all that well but after he suggested we flavor it with chocolate syrup (WHAT!) they have taken to it a bit more. And now the scary part...as Mady (Baby A always goes first) was getting her second shot, her eyes rolled back in her head and she passed out. She was totally unresponsive and pale white. I FREAKED out, naturally and the nurse did as well. I picked her up and she came to though she was really slow and scarily calm. The nurse got Dr. Mitchell who checked her...her heartrate was slowed and her blood pressure was really low. He had a name for what he thought it was and said it could have been caused by a few things. She held her breath, she was so scared she fainted, or probably a combination of the two. He said it's common and can be a repetitive thing (GOD please no)! I held her and rocked her and she got back to normal but I am still haunted by the site of my poor limp baby. I was never more afraid in my life and I swear I will never forget that. But that night she was fine (we had a family sleepover in the living room). It was probably worse for us than for her and I am so glad that it is over. Other than that everything is fine...they were checked for lead (just in case) and are good. We go back in November and hopefully they will have beefed up a bit by then.

Yes I am still in love...I still feel like it's a dream that I will wake up from...they are so perfect and they make me smile and laugh countless times during the day. I will post some recent pictures soon...I promise!!!

1st Birthday!

2008-08-11T16:30:00.000-07:00

My baby girls turned a year old yesterday...sigh. We had a great party on Saturday at Maple Lake and had a great turnout. The weather was perfect and it was a great day. And then yesterday was their actual birthday. We just relaxed and walked around the mall then went to dinner where Mady fell asleep in her highchair from all the excitement. I really can't believe that they are a year old already. And yes I am sad that this year is over, I am completely looking forward to the next year with them. They are changing everyday. Savannah has 6 teeth now and Mady has 5. Mady is walking a little bit, and they are into EVERYTHING! They are the sweetest, most adorable little girls in the world and I love them now even more than the day they were born (I didn't think it was possible)!

On another note, I go back to Dr. McGinnis on Wednesday though nothing has changed. I lost a few pounds on the metformin but it was making me so sick I had to stop taking it for a while. GRRRR!!!!!!!! I am really ready for something to change. I miss my thinner self.

Sigh...

2008-08-04T22:18:00.000-07:00

Well I only have 4 more days before my infants become toddlers. When I think back to last year and how exciting this time was and how amazing I felt....I cry. I am SOOOO fortunate to have such happy and healthy babies but I really can't believe that an entire year went by without me knowing it. They are growing so much everyday and I tell them how much I love them a million times a day. But even then they will never truly understand how loved they are by their mommy. I am so sad and so happy at the same time right now. They are these little people with personalities of their own. Savannah is such a little sass. When I say "No, Savannah" she scrunches up her face and shakes her head! What a hoot! And Mady is just so cute and sweet and wants nothing more than to cuddle. I am the luckiest woman alive so why is it that I wish that I could start over rather than go on? Gah I never knew my heart could feel so full.

EWWWW!!!!!!!!!!

2008-07-16T20:08:00.000-07:00

Just so you know....she was NOT eating chocolate. Eww.....

Anyone know where I can get a new bathtub for a good price??? Notice how gross it is, no matter how often we redo that caulking. YUCK!!!!!

Introducing.....

2008-07-11T21:13:00.000-07:00

Chompers...

2008-06-23T20:51:00.000-07:00

That's right....chompers. We have teeth, teeth, and more teeth. Savannah has had her bottom two for quite a while now...yesterday she popped out her first top tooth and today they second one is coming through. Mady has had 1 on the bottom and is ready for the second to come through any day! They are drooling like bloodhounds and chewing like puppies (bloodhound puppies HEHE). With all that being said, they are the best babies in the world! They haven't been fussing and this weekend in Annapolis, they were real troopers. Ah, Annapolis. Of course I have posted before about Annapolis and even though we were there less than a month ago, I can never really get enough of it. I absolutely love it there...always have, and always will. We took Brent, Amanda, and Amanda's parents for the weekend. Brent had been wanting to go to the boat for years but never had a good opportunity and Amanda and I have always said that our parents would become best friends if they were to really socialize together. So we arranged a weekend for the 10 of us. It was quite a success. While Justin and I and the girls stayed on the boat last time, we decided to stay at the Hilton Garden Inn instead since that's where everyone else was staying. We had loads of fun and of course like we said, our parents really hit it off. We have decided to make it an annual trip. It is great for Brent and Amanda as they are only about 2 hours away. Unfortunately I didn't take any pictures this weekend, but maybe I can get some from Amanda to post. The girls were angels and I am, as always so proud of them. Not much else on the agenda now. Just waiting for the 4th and then the crazy month of August. I can't even begin to think about their first birthday. It really is the strangest thing to me that a year has gone by. I never knew time could go by so fast. Wow.

Pics from Charlotte

2008-06-18T21:17:00.000-07:00

Here are just a few very cute ones that my sister sent me.

Savannah with her Aunt Lindsay at the shower

Mady with her "Aunt" Biz (Elizabeth Abbott) Mady loved her and Biz really had a way with her...she is a natural and is going to be a wonderful mom someday, just like her own mother.

Charlotte

2008-06-10T22:41:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I went to Charlotte with the girls for my sister's bridal shower (she lives there). Our childhood best friends, The Abbott women (Hermine, my moms close friend, Kathryn, my childhood best friend, and Elizabeth, Lindsay's childhood best friend) hosted and it was a great event. The trip itself was uneventful as the girls have proven to be great travelers, probably because we travel so often with them. We got to see Lindsay and Chad's new townhouse that they just purchased (very nice)and got to visit with friends and family that we rarely get to see. Lindsay's cousin has a baby boy born a month before the girls and it was funny to see how they all played together. Savannah picked up a face of his and now that's all she likes to do, is make the fish-face (his name is Fisher). We took the girls in Lindsay and Chad's pool and they loved it, and then went to dinner while a sitter watched the girls (their first time with a sitter other than family...yes I was nervous, but a few glasses of wine helped me relax enough to enjoy the evening). The trip was very enjoyable and the girls seemed to fit in with everything quite easily. I am amazed sometimes at how well they blend in with my life. They are just perfect in every way. :)

Tears and hope...

2008-06-03T22:22:00.000-07:00

I came across this link and wanted to share. This video is something that I held near a dear for at least 2 of the last 4 years of my life. I watched it daily and it gave me so much strength and hope. I am sure I posted the link on here before but I am going to again. I watched it just now for the first time since before I got pregnant and I cried even more than I did then. It brought back so much pain and thinking about it now makes me tear up. The lady who made the video is starting an infertility awareness and education site and it just hits the nail right on the head. Please check it out and think about all those couples out there going through this....some not as fortunate as we are. Here it is...http://www.tearsandhope.com/emptyarms_video.html

Busy bee

2008-05-27T21:49:00.000-07:00

Wow things have been busy around here lately. The girls are not walking but are so mobile and literally keep me on my toes. So obviously I went to Dr. McGinnis a few weeks ago...he prescribed metformin again (BLAH) and Byetta which is an injection that I give myself twice a day. He said that because of my insulin resistance, when I eat foods that are high on the glycemic index (starchy foods) they are twice as bad. So I am 'trying' to follow a low-glycemic diet (which is REALLY hard) and giving myself the shot while checking my blood sugar 4 times a day. While the shot isn't too painful, it leaves horrid bruises and my belly is covered by purple dots. He says I could lose all the weight I have gained since the girls were born and then some by next year, which would be fantastic. I have done reasonably well so far though I sometimes feel as though I am starving because everything out there is starchy so sometimes I just have to eat.

On another note, we took the girls to Annapolis for the first time last week and it was so much fun. They were great and slept pretty well on the boat, and we look forward to some more trips in the future. Will post more later when I can hold my head up a bit easier. Thanks for reading!

My appointment with Dr. McGinnis

2008-05-14T13:56:00.000-07:00

Well today I went to Dr. McGinnis' office and of course he had an answer for everything and things he can get things back under control. MY HERO! Will post more later but here are some pictures from our visit.

Savannah was playing with his pen

Sitting in the waiting room

Erin and Amanda (The receptionist and the office manager)

Such a cute picture!

Karen with Mady

Faith

2008-05-09T09:09:00.000-07:00

I was just watching "The View" from yesterday (I know I am a dork) and Clay Aiken performed a song from his new album. The CD is called "On My Way Here" and the song was the same as well...the chorus said "Faith has conquered fear on my way here." That really hit home with me. I am sure that there were times during my infertility that I was afraid but I really felt deeply that I would have a child...someday. I didn't know when, but I knew I would. I had faith there there was a plan for me and as I have said so many times before...everything that happened has made me a better mother and a stronger person. When I see other people who are going through what I went through, I just want to make them feel what I felt but I know that I can't. It is so true..my faith in myself, in my doctors, and in God totally conquered my fear. I just had to share this because it really spoke to me.

EXCITED!

2008-05-02T22:06:00.000-07:00

Today I got a piece of mail from Dr. McGinnis' office. I was very curious as to what it was about...WELL Dr. Hembree referred me back to him to see what is wrong with me with this weight gain that she agrees is not normal. I thought she was sending me to a general physician or an endocronologist. While Dr. McGinnis is a reproductive endocronologist, he generally deals with people who are having hormone problems that affect their reproductive organs. I am PSYCHED! He is one of the few doctors that I really trust and I am very happy to be going back. And I am taking the girls with me so he can meet them. How cool is that? Maybe he can fix me again!

Everywhere...

2008-05-01T21:57:00.000-07:00

When I was going through what I refer to as the most painful days of my life...or the days when I thought I would never get pregnant, never have a child, I swear there were pregnant people everywhere. Well now it seems that there are still pregnant people everywhere and babies everywhere and instead of crying because I was grieving for someone I would never know, I now cry because I am so amazed at the miracle that is pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood in general. I am astonished that 9 months ago I felt so alive with "life". Literally, I felt my babies move, hiccup, stretch...I knew when they were sleepy and I knew when they wanted to play. And now this life...those lives are so vibrant and thriving...beautiful and perfect. and I am just back to being the person I was before this whole experience. Amazingly, I never want to forget how I felt those nights; I would be sitting at my desk studying until all hours of the night because making the grade was something I could control during a time when I was not in control. I can remember it so vividly...I would sit there reading about who knows what when I would just start crying...sobbing really and I was so angry, at everyone and everything. How life can change and grow is just fantastic and I am grateful for these horribly sad memories...they made me stronger and I am a better person...a better mother because of it.

Some pics for you....thanks Lindsay!

2008-04-28T13:51:00.000-07:00

Look at those teeth!!!

Yes my babies are both standing in this picture!! No I did not stand them up...

I just can't keep up.

2008-04-23T21:04:00.000-07:00

The girls are changing and growing SOO much and I know I need to keep the blog more updated. Things are getting very difficult at this point. Savannah now has two teeth and must be standing up at all times. And now Mady is doing it too. Not to the extent of Savannah but she does stand up in her crib. Savannah pulls herself up onto anything and is beginning to "cruise" along the couch if she sees something that she wants. Not to mention that they can both crawl faster than I can think, and usually in opposite directions. I have tried to create barricades to keep them in a certain spot but they are too good for that, they just crawl over or through. GAH! And today Justin was getting Savannah dressed while I was getting ready and I went in to see them and when I left she cried "Muma." Justin swears that she was saying it to me so I left again and she did it again. So sweet, it warms my heart. She is definitely a bit attached to me at the moment which I love but I also want to give Mady attention too. I will post some more when I have time.

Proud to be a West Virginian

2008-04-14T18:27:00.000-07:00

I love my home!!!

West Virginia...because of our mountains, we have rivers. The oldest river in the Western Hemisphere, the New River (quite appropriately named, don't you think) ends in West Virginia. We have the Gauley River, which confluences with the New River in a magnificent cascade to form the Kanawha River and which in turn flows through the center of the State and directly through the capital city of Charleston, the largest city in West Virginia. These rivers in addition to the Cheat, Blackwater, Tygart, Monongahela, Ohio and countless others offer tremendous recreational opportunities.

The tallest building in Charleston is barely 25 floors tall!
Which, if you think about it, is a plus.

How could you possibly build a skyscraper more beautiful than a mountain?

The capital city stretches throughout the long river valley encompassing both hill and dale. The Charleston airport, the largest in the State, sits on top of a mountain. The crime rate in Charleston, including the entire population of the Kanawha Valley (around 200,000), reflects that of the entire State....the lowest in America. No more than a handful of murders are committed each year.

Charleston has no subway systems; but truth be known, you can get from one end of town to the other, even in rush-hour traffic, in less than ten minutes.

There are three major interstate systems going through Charleston, the smallest city in America to make such a claim.

The entire state has six different interstate systems, meaning from Charleston you can reach Cleveland, Columbus, Cincinnati, Pittsburgh, Louisville, or Charlotte in four hours or less. Ah, but once you leave the interstates, the drive becomes a thing of wonder Two lane roads, winding up and down the mountains, offer amazing views and historic places and small towns....poor in wealth but rich in history.

West Virginia is the birthplace of Mother's Day in Grafton, and Father' Day in Fairmont. We have the oldest covered bridge still in use.

We have walnut festivals, strawberry festivals, apple festival, pumpkin festivals, buckwheat festivals, arts and crafts fairs, stern wheel regattas, and ramp dinners.

We have Bridge Day, on the New River Gorge Bridge over 800 feet above the New River; the only standing structure in the United States that, one day a year, allows parachuting and bungee jumping.

Don't forget, we also have the "New River Train" that operates each October during the height of the colorful fall season. I know of no other way to show off the beauty of our state to the folks who travel here from all over the country.

We have college basketball, minor league baseball and hockey and, just like all of America, Friday night high school football.

We have white water rafting, skiing, hiking, caves, waterfalls, and camping in every direction. We have Sundays where a leisurely drive in the car can take eight hours, and only cover 100 miles.

We have bed and breakfasts, resorts, golf courses, museums, and the Greenbrier Hotel. West Virginia has more natural beauty and wonder than any person could ever imagine.

We have all of this, and yet.... our greatest asset is our people.

West Virginians are good people. We care about each other. We talk to our neighbors over the backyard fence. We grow tomatoes for the entire neighborhood. We turn around in each other's driveways, and yell "howdy" when we do.

We sit on the porch on warm summer evenings, listening to crickets, and watching kids catch fireflies.

We loan a hammer, or a cup of sugar. We don't take two-hour lunches, but we do spend a few minutes each day with a cup of coffee, and our feet up on our desk, shooting the breeze.

We rarely get in a hurry. We have relatives just down the street. We don't just loan someone a socket wrench, we help them fix their car.

We share recipes, and gardening tips, and our last cup of coffee.

We baby-sit each other's kids, we house sit each other's dogs while we're on vacation, and we loan each other our cars if we have to get to the drugstore. We ask each other if we need anything as we're going to the market.

We celebrate each others accomplishments, and we cry over each other's disappointments.

We are a friendly folk. We are West Virginians. Mountaineers are always free! Free to take the time to enjoy life, and hold each moment in our hearts forever.

Perfect Mom's don't cry

2008-04-12T21:07:00.000-07:00

Even though I really do feel like the luckiest woman alive most moments of my days, there is always the next step. The next move to make my life...my family...perfect. Only I am realizing that I am ok if everything isn't just so. As long as my children are safe, healthy, and thriving and my marriage is strong I will be living my happily ever after. There are many things in my life that I had not planned on, but this is just life I now see. As most of you know (who have been reading my blog from the beginning) my polycystic ovarian syndrome causes rapid weight gain due to many factors, one leading factor being the high amounts of testosterone and generally crazy hormone levels. Well when I FINALLY did get pregnant I was amazed to find that I lost weight and lots of it. The day the twins were born, I was almost 70 lbs lighter than I was going into the IVF. THATS HUGE! Well I was never happier with myself. I was not skinny by any means (aside from my massive pregnant belly) but I was confindent and happy and most importantly, I was healthy. Well I was determined not to gain the weight back but much to my dismay and not for lack of effort, I have gained 40 lbs. since August and I feel horrible about myself again. Of course I am not depressed now as I was pre-pregnancy because my children make every moment of my life joyful. But I am back on the bad path of lack of self esteem, etc. Lately I have been very self-conscious and in a slump. But I want to be that perfect mother, the one that is healthy and slim, and so together. Up until now it has been SO perfect and I feel like I am letting myself down. Why am I telling you this, you ask? To explain this blog entry titled "Perfect Mom's don't cry."

To be a good mother was a priority in my plan,
A painted nursery, tiny clothes and shoes, the safest minivan.
I tried to have it all mapped out so all would flow just fine.
What I didn't realize is that life plans like babies don't easily follow along these lines.
Hectic and unpredictable our life has now become.
I envy those perfect Mothers -- I wanted to be one.
Now my picture-perfect self seems to unravel before my eyes.
I choke back tears and force a smile. perfect mothers do not cry.
Are those perfect mothers really as all-together as they seem?
Perhaps they are, but to me right now, it only is a dream.
My dream of being a perfect mother keeps my mind always running whirls.
Just for this moment, I need to pause and embrace my precious and perfect little girls.
As I look around me, I watch how my standards fall.
Does it really matter if I'm not always on the ball?
The frustration of trying to do it all makes for a heavy laden heart.
Lowering my expectations right now is really very smart.
I know that deep inside of me is the strength to see this through.
For now, I'll do the best I can... for that's what good mothers do.

What I discovered is that I do not have to be perfect...I would rather be a good mom than a perfect mom. And if being the perfect slim person means being a less than good mom, I will take the weight anyday. Enough of my ramblings.

**Our life, our journey--the good, the bad, and the less-than-perfect!

And so it begins.

2008-04-08T22:32:00.000-07:00

It seems that my last post was correct in the headline. It seems as though my little girls are getting curious about EVERYTHING! I just can't keep up with them. They are all over the place..one on one side of the room, and one on the other. WOW this is going to get very interesting. Savannah can get from point A to point B in a flash while Mady who used to be content in just observing now wants in on the action. Mady pulls everything off of every shelf she can find that is low enough while Savannah literally got a big ceramic pot out from underneath a plant-table and pulled it across to the blanket where she plays. In addition, last night as I was bathing the girls I asked Justin to lower Savannah's mattress because she sits up too high. When Justin put her back in after it was lowered he was joking about how the next thing we know she will be standing when I go to get her in the morning. Well about that time, she reaches up and holding on to the side of the crib, she pulls herself up and starts bouncing on the mattress. No kidding, just like she has been doing it for months. It was incredible! My jaw just dropped, I can't believe how quickly everything is happening now...one thing after the other. Holy cow!!!!!!!!!! I will get a picture of it and post it when I get a chance.

And we're off!

2008-04-06T20:34:00.000-07:00

Savannah has been getting on her hands and knees likes she's about to crawl for about a week. Well tonight she figured out that she could get around much easier than rolling. She started crawiling! Not a lot but when she saw something that she wanted she went after it, though of course she lay on her belly after about 30 seconds. But then she got back up. Another milestone!!! It seems like it's all happening so quickly now, her tooth and now crawling. I am so proud!

MOMMY BRAIN

2008-04-01T23:10:00.000-07:00

This is so me right now!!!

If you've left the milk to spoil in the car,
And forgotten just where the car keys are,
There's a perfectly good way to explain:
You see, you've come down with "Mommy Brain."

When you're not sure where the past 8 hours went,
Or whether the phone bill check's been sent,
If you've left the laundry drying in the rain,
It's just---you guessed it---Mommy Brain.

If you find yourself chatting for hours on end
About diaper prices with your cyberfriends,
You've just caught a particularly virulent strain
Of that affliction known as Mommy Brain.

If you left your bags at the grocery store
Or completely forgot what you went there for,
If you called the cat by your baby's name,
You can bet that Mommy Brain's to blame.

And if you know the words to "Goodnight Moon" by heart, Or you study your sleeping babe like a work of art, If you're always surprised by how time is flying,
And the thought of that first birthday starts you crying... **Tearing up now!

It's unavoidable girls, and I feel your pain
For I, too, suffer from Mommy Brain.
But I'll admit one thing---of this I'm sure
I hope they never find a cure.

- Carlotta Eike Stankiewicz

Interesting personality test!!

2008-03-30T22:32:00.001-07:00

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion |||||||||||||||| 66%

Stability |||||| 30%

Orderliness |||||||||||||||| 63%

Accommodation |||||||||||||||||||| 83%

Interdependence |||||||||||||||| 63%

Intellectual |||||||||||| 50%

Mystical |||||||||||| 43%

Artistic |||||||||||||||| 70%

Religious |||||||||||||||||||| 90%

Hedonism |||| 16%

Materialism |||||||||||||||| 70%

Narcissism |||||||||||||||| 63%

Adventurousness |||||||||| 36%

Work ethic |||||||||| 36%

Self absorbed |||||| 30%

Conflict seeking |||||||||||| 50%

Need to dominate |||||||||||| 50%

Romantic |||||||||||||||||||| 83%

Avoidant |||| 16%

Anti-authority |||||||||||||||| 63%

Wealth |||||||||| 36%

Dependency |||||||||||| 50%

Change averse |||||||||||||||| 63%

Cautiousness |||||||||| 36%

Individuality |||||||||| 36%

Sexuality |||||||||||||||||||| 90%

Peter pan complex |||||| 23%

Physical security |||||||||||||||||||| 90%

Physical Fitness |||| 17%

Histrionic |||| 16%

Paranoia |||||||||||||| 56%

Vanity |||||||||||| 43%

Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||| 56%

Indie |||||||||| 35%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality test by similarminds.com

An eventful week

2008-03-30T22:32:00.000-07:00
We had a few things that were "exciting" this week. And by exciting, I wouldn't get your heartrate up too much! :)
My friend, Kelley's birthday is Monday, the 31st, but we had her party on Saturday (which was a lot of fun). Justin and I wanted to make chocolate fondue (Kelley made the cheese) and went to Sam's to get strawberries because they have the best. Well Sam's has a shopping cart with room for two children, so we decided to give it a try. The twins actually sat in a shopping cart (which of course I sanitized with my trusty wipes that I now take with me everywhere)! Just when we thought we couldn't attract any more attention. HAHAHA! ALSO, with Justin being home this weekend, we gave the girls a bath together (them, not us you weirdos ;) ) in the regular tub just sitting up with no support except for us keeping a VERY watchful eye. They laughed and splashed and played with toys and it was really fun, we even caught this first experience on videotape. But just when I thought things couldn't get any more "exciting" we went to Nutterfort Elementary for a Spaghetti fundraiser dinner today with Justin's parents. Savannah was laughing at Justin for something and I happened to glance at her when I saw a speck of white on her gum. I thought it was spit-up but went in for a second look. IT WAS A TOOTH! My baby girl has a real tooth popping out of her gum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can you believe it?!?!?!? I teared up when I first saw it and I am holding it in now as I think about it. She has been really fussy the past week or so and now my suspicions have been confirmed. I will no longer get an adorable gummy smile from my p-nut. It is on the bottom on her right and the bottom left is about to pop through also. It seems as though Mady might get some before long as well, but I think hers might come from the top first. I just can't believe it...I am so happy as they progress normally but a side of me wants them to stay newborns forever. It seems like there is something new everyday. Ahh, how quickly it goes. Although it is bittersweet, I am so excited...I rub her gums with my finger and I just know that it is going to be a full-fledged baby tooth in such a short time...I can enjoy that adorable gummy smile for a few days longer. Wow is all I can say.

Daily devotion

2008-03-27T23:06:00.000-07:00
I received this in an email from my aunt. I liked it and wanted to share.

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood
street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for
kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down
when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children
appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He
slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the
brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car,
grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against
a parked car shouting, "What was that all about and who are you?
Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick
you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?" The
young boy was apologetic. "Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I
didn't know what else to do," He pleaded. "I threw the brick
because no one else would stop....." With tears dripping down his
face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a
parked car. "It's my brother, "he said "He rolled off the curb and
fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."
Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please
help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too
heavy for me."
Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly
swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped
boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief
and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him
everything was going to be okay. "Thank you and may God bless you,"
the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the
man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down
the sidewalk toward their home.

It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very
noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side
door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: "Don't
go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to
get your attention!" God whispers in our souls and speaks to our
hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to
throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not.

Thought for the Day:

If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.

If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.

He sends you flowers every spring.

He sends you a sunrise every morning.....face it, friend - He really cares about you.

God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow,sun
without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for
the tears, and light for the way.

Read this line very slowly and let it sink in....

If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

Happy Easter!

2008-03-24T12:28:00.000-07:00
The twins first Easter went very well, they were so cute! Here are some pics from yesterday.

SO FUNNY!!!

2008-03-20T18:52:00.000-07:00
We had a very interesting day today and I just have to share. First, I have to start by saying that the girls are no longer in their carriers, they have graduated to regular car seats (I have probably already talked about this). We went to buffalo wild wings for lunch (one of our new fave places) and of course we were wondering what to do with the girls now that we don't have the oh-so-convenient carriers. They actually sat in high chairs--restaurant high chairs!!!! I was in shock and a little bit sad, but they did well and that was that. But what we are figuring out is that we really miss the convenience of taking the carriers in and out of the car and snapping them into the stroller especially on days like yesterday and today...rainy and WINDY! We went to wal-mart to pick up some things and because the weather is so crappy, Justin pulled up to the curb so we could get the twins out of their car seats and into the stroller. Well I was getting Savannah out and she pulled the straw out of the podee bottle (a bottle with a straw attached to a pacifier-like nipple) and formula started spraying everywhere! I turned to put the bottle on the stroller while holding Savannah down so she didn't get wind-whipped and the stroller was GONE! I yelled to Justin asking him where the stroller was and just then I saw it---down the sidewalk at the other end of the store! The wind had essentially turned the nylon canopy into a sail and off it went. HA HA HA! A pregnant woman brought it back to us and when she saw that we had twins she said, Oh my, I hope this isn't a sign! I about died!!! We made it inside in one piece and learned a lesson...use the brake on the stroller. Had to share...so funny!!

Richmond

2008-03-18T19:01:00.000-07:00
As promised, here are some pics!

Our first roadtrip

2008-03-17T23:11:00.000-07:00
We had our first roadtrip this weekend which meant buying bigger car seats that would accomodate a rapidly growing Savannah. While Madyson can still fit comfortably in her carrier, Savannah is just busting out and there was no way I was going to take her in the car for a long time. So we went to Toys R Us and got VERY nice new car seats that will grow with them up to 100 lbs. which is until they will be out of car seats for good. Our best friends Brent and Amanda Yager (that still sounds strange to me) who got married in September (see September archives) recently moved from Chicago to Richmond. It was a welcomed move as they are now closer, a comfortable drive rather than a plane-ride (my limit for car trips is around 8 hours). We surprised Brent for his birthday and just rang the doorbell. Boy was he surprised to see us! We had a relaxing and enjoyable weekend--it is so much nicer there, spring has already arrived. It was kind of depressing coming home because we really miss spending time with them. We got to really spend the day on Friday outside while the weather was flirting with us with 70+ degree temps. We got some good pictures which I will post asap. Their neighborhood is absolutely adorable and their house even more so. I am green with envy! Congratulations to them on taking the plunge into home ownership and marriage in general.

P.S. I totally forgot to post a few weeks ago...March 6th was Justins 27th birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUSTIN!!!!!!!!!!! We love you!!!

Sitting up!

2008-03-12T23:40:00.000-07:00
The girls are officially sitting up on their own. Savannah is a pro while Mady is still a little unbalanced but I just can't believe it!! It was just like all of a sudden they want mobility and are certainly going to be crawling all over before we know it. We also graduated to a car-seat rather than the car-seat/carrier that snaps into the stroller. I will miss the carrier LIKE CRAZY because it is so convenient and easy and they stay so cozy. I have been pretty busy lately doing things around the house and being a mom but I am glad to finally have some sort of routine going. They are getting to be pretty predictable (KNOCK ON WOOD) and things are going very well. I had to update though it is going to be short because I just finished some laundry while everyone else is asleep (of course) and now it is my turn to join them in the land of dreams. More updates coming soon including some very cute pictures!

6 Months

2008-03-02T22:51:00.000-08:00
I have been slacking lately but for stupid reasons. I was told recently that my blog is "sappy." I don't think that the person who said this to be hurtful, but rather jokingly. Well everytime I log in and prepare to type something it ends up being much of the same...me talking about how much I love my daughters and how incredible motherhood is. But then I realized ya know what, if all I have to write is sap, then I am pretty darn lucky! So anyway, the girls turned 6 months on the 10th and we (us as well as my parents, and Justin's parents) went to Muriale's for dinner to celebrate their 1st 1/2 birthday! They are doing wonderfully. We have been starting to feed them baby food a few times a day. So far Savannah loves Squash, and eats carrots and sweet potatoes though it is obvious she isn't in love. She also does not like sweets such as juice or any kind of fruit. She scrunches up her face and spits it back out and while I have to laugh, I want her to get used to eating from a spoon so I just give her what she wants...squash (or as I have just discovered, squash and corn). Mady on the other hand loves sweet potatoes and will eat carrots and squash and any kind of fruit you offer her as well as all the juices out there. She is definitely like her mommy in that department though I am not a fan of sweet potatoes. So far they are doing well with the spoon feedings and really like their high chairs that we just recently purchased. We went to Dr. Mitchell last week for our 6 months check-up and of course got more shots. Both of them are right on track with where they were at Christmas. Savannah weighs 16 lbs. 10 oz. and is 24 inches long and Madyson weighs 14 lbs. 7 oz. and is 22 inches long. Savannah is in the 75th percentile and Mady is in the 25th which he says is right where they were at 4 months so they are growing perfectly. And while they are not in the 100th percentile, most children aren't always at the same place at the same time and for twins who were slighty premature, they are doing "perfectly." I happen to agree with him that they are perfect! *SAP WARNING* for those of you who don't like "sappy" sob-stories stop reading now. I am still very much in awe of them and many times when we are alone after Justin goes to work I just stare and smile and thank my lucky stars. I truly believe that someone was helping when I was given this amazing gift. We have the perfect set-up; Madyson looks just like her dad and has a lot of his characteristics-she is very content and laid back and just looks around and takes it all in (though she is a cuddle-bug and loves sleeping with me sometimes and cuddling up close....I LOVE it). Savannah looks so much like me especially when I was a baby and is very much like me as well--she is all over the place all the time; if it is on the floor you can bet she is gonne have it and if it is a liquid she will have it all over her. She smiles with her whole body and is such a people person and a busy body I know we are really going to have our hands full when she is mobile. Right now she is just rolling A LOT and is desperate to sit up but nothing yet. There is so much changing with them daily it is hard to remember it all. I am just so amazed with the feeling I have towards them, I honestly never imagined that it would feel this way. I am trying to savor every moment and every feeling because I know how fast it is going to change and become routine but right now I am still in shock that all of my waiting is over. I used to cry every night and yell at God wondering why I was going through this and now I cry every night thanking God for making me go through everything because the experience made the result that much more appreciated. Not a night goes by that I don't apologize for my lack of faith. I do now believe that every thing happens for a reason.

Priorities

2008-02-22T04:53:00.000-08:00
If you are feeling a little stressed right now take a moment to read this:

When things in your lives seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a
day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of
him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty
mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.
He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of
course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar
was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and
poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space
between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize
that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--
your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions--
and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job and your house.

The sand is everything else--the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the
jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf
balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the
small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to
you.

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with
your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to
dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and
fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first--the things that really
matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee
represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked.

"It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

Sniffle sniffle

2008-02-19T00:31:00.000-08:00
It was inevitable...the twins got their first real cold this week. No doubt from Justin and I as we both had to get antibiotics and prednisone to fight this horrible thing. As careful as we were, there was no way around it. Now my poor little pumpkins sound like their poppy (my dad) snoring though they are wide awake. For the most part, though, they don't seem to be any worse for wear; they are slighltly fussy but other than having to learn to breathe through their mouths they seem to be ok. I have been drowning them practically in vapor baths which seems to really help. We also bought this nifty gadget that you put to their nostril and push a button and it just vacuums the nastiness away! Mady doesn't seem to mind having her sinuses "swept" but Savannah tries to squirm, roll, or pull herself anywhere that is far from the little sucker. It is quite amusing as there is a little bucket-like place that collects the "blockage" so you can "assess the situation of your child's cold" (it says that right on the packaging, no kidding)! Anyway, I hope my little sweet peas will be back to their normal free-breathing selves soon.

Wintertime Blues

2008-02-14T23:08:00.000-08:00
Well it is that time of the year again. I can't stand not being able to get out and about. There is absolutely no where to go but the mall to stroll around, and it is getting really old (not to mention expensive because I spend money that I don't need to be spending). I don't mind the winter if it is snowing and pretty to look at, but this dreary rain/slow literally makes me sick! It is really difficult to be depressed when you have two beautiful new babies to enjoy but come on now, this is horrible.

On another (slightly similar) subject, my house is being ruled by canines and I must do something about this before I lose my sanity. I truly am feeling a bit blue right now and I attribute it to the lack of control in my life at the moment. And for those of you who are thinking "that is what motherhood is all about" you can just swallow those words because my blues has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with my precious babies...actually it is them that is keeping me as sane as I currently am. I truly feel like I "could be" living in my perfect house at the moment. We do have a nice size house with loads of great aspects and absolutely enormous amounts of potential. BUT the back half of the house is now run by the dogs which are now not getting any attention and have decided to take revenge and make my life hell. Now I don't wake up in the middle of the night to take care of my children...I wake up to take care of the dogs who are either chewing something up or using my laundry room floor as their, uh-hem, marking territory. Well this just does NOT fly with me. I work way too hard to get my home to the way that I want it and I will not let my children play in a place that is filthy from animals. I love animals...I always have and I always will, but I no longer want them living and breathing under my roof. Not when I have two babies to take care of and they are my NUMBER ONE priority. Justin and I have been over and over this and we MUST find a home for Bailey, the spanial/beagle mix that we rescued in 2005. He needs a home where he will get love and attention...he just isn't getting that from us. Carbon is Justin's dog and refuses to give him up even though I am at my wits end. Marley is ok to stay as she doesn't really do anything and is easy to take care of because she is so small and well-behaved. If you know of anyone who might be interested in giving poor little Bailey a home, please let me know!!!!

All About Madyson

2008-02-08T22:35:00.000-08:00
Poor little Mady gets the shaft around here. She is so content all of the time (mostly) and Savannah just requires SO much attention so it winds up looking like I favor Savannah, which is definitely not the case. I feel something very special towards each of my girls. I love Savannah's spunk and her go-for-it attitude, and that smile first thing in the morning. And I love Mady's relaxed demeanor, like she is so happy to be here, and I absolutely am smitten with her wanting to cuddle and be held. She is absolutely precious and petite and I could just eat her to pieces. I was having some "air time" with her diaper off (hence the reason there is no cover on the changing pad) and decided she looked too cute to not get a few pics. Here is Mommy's little Mady-pie...
" "

Oprah

2008-02-08T22:18:00.000-08:00
I was just watching Oprah, today's or yesterday's I am not sure. It was very interesting-about sperm donation (so of course I would be interested, right)! They had two donor's on the show and some of the mother's of the donor children, as well as donor children from other donors. It was very interesting to see. Two sides of the same story-these two men were so different about their donors and I couldn't help but think about what it would be like to be in that situation. One of them is in contact with his "children" while the other doesn't keep in contact though he knows who they are. I just don't understand how you could donate and then just forget about the outcome. Would you not think about the potential that you could have children and wouldn't you care? When we went through the IVF, we obviously didn't transfer all of our embryos and if they had survived (which they didn't) we had the option to donate them to a couple. Selfishly, we decided that if they survived we would freeze them to be used by us (potentially) later down the road. But I feel like this is a bit different...those were OUR children and in order to donate them we would have to legally sign away all rights to them, just like we were giving up the baby for adoption. This was SUCH a difficult decision. There are so many couples out there that would be such wonderful parents, but I could never just give my children away and never think about them again, it would haunt me even though there was no guarantee that the recipient even had a successful pregnancy. Just like in the case of donor sperm, or donor eggs. How could you just donate and then not be interested in the outcome. I was just amazed. I shouldn't even get started. I do agree that it was such a selfless act to donate (especially considering that one of donors made a very comfortable living so obviously didn't do it for the money), but I couldn't let it end there...so many of the families of the donor children would like to be involved with the donor it was astonishing! Wow.

Ash Wednesday

2008-02-06T11:08:00.000-08:00
Ash Wednesday is a time for repentance and the beginning of Lent. Ashes were used in ancient times, according to the Bible, to express penitence. Dusting oneself with ashes was the penitent's way of expressing sorrow for sins and faults. An ancient example of one expressing one's penitence is found in Job 42:3-6. Job says to God: "I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth thee. Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes." Other examples are found in several other books of the Bible including, Numbers 19:9, 17, Hebrews 9:13, Jonah 3:6, Matthew 11:21, and Luke 10:13.

However, some Christians, who do not celebrate Ash Wednesday, say that the practice is not consistent with Scripture and is of pagan origin.[11] They usually cite Matthew 6:16–18, where Jesus gave prescriptions for fasting: "And whenever you fast, do not look dismal, like the hypocrites. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that your fasting may be seen not by others but by your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you." These groups argue that Jesus warned against fasting to gain favor from other people and that he also warned his followers that they should fast in private, not letting others know they were fasting. For these reasons, some Christian denominations do not endorse the practice. Others, however, point out that this very passage from Matthew is the one, not coincidentally, that is appointed by the Revised Common Lectionary to be read on Ash Wednesday. They might also clarify that the ashen Cross on the forehead does not represent the fast, but the mortal condition of human existence.

-Wikipedia

Stream of feelings...

2008-02-01T00:09:00.000-08:00
The evening was perfect...we laughed, and as I watched you laugh, I cried. The two most incredible people laying there on the soft blanket staring at me knowing that their lives depend on me. All I can do is lean into them and smother them with hugs and kisses because I have learned that you never know what tomorrow brings. Their smell is intoxicating, even before their baths. Every moment--every giggle and every tear is burned into my memory as I sit and stare daring my mind to forget this moment. As I scoop them up knowing that they are full and content, I realize very quickly that the days of "scooping THEM up" are numbered. They are looking awkward now as we thump up the stairs, arms and legs tangled and heads bobbing sleepily. Bathing them when they are so sleepy is not for fun, but to make sure they sleep soundly and stay soft and perfect and clean. Mady is first and though she wants to give into sleep, she waits for her special time while I take a bare and very sleepy Savannah to get her bath. And after, as Savannah nuzzles into the bumper for the night, Mady knows what is coming. I take her in my arms and loving this moment as much as she does, we dance to whatever song is playing on their nightime playlist. Only instead of the words that go to the song, I sing whatever I feel. "Mady-pie, don't you cry, just give into it and sleep. Close those eyes and follow me to a land of puppies and bunnies. Where we will roll down hills, and chase butterflies, and jump into painfully cold streams." No I am not a poet, but it works as her eyelids get increasingly heavy. I rock back and forth for a few more minutes even though she is sound asleep...this moment is just too perfect. I lay her in her crib and she stirs a bit but I know she is asleep. Savannah is asleep by now for sure, but I kneel by her and stare, and rub her back lightly so I don't risk waking her. She is easy to get to sleep, but I sometimes wish I could sing to her as well, like I did when she moved from my bed into hers. The room is filled with the soft sound of Bette Midler, the portable heater buzz, and the puff of the humidifier. I close my eyes and thank God for the blessing that I have been given and wonder why things happen the way they do. Slowly I shuffle out, pulling the door behind me. I then sit and type exactly what I am feeling. For many reasons. One day I will look back and read this and it will take me back to a time when I thought the world was perfect. And when my babies are rocking their babies to sleep, they will think of a time when they were so vulnerable and they will feel love, for their children, and maybe if I am lucky, they will realize how much they are loved and how precious life is.

Daily devotion

2008-01-26T00:00:00.000-08:00
Twenty Things To Remember

1. Faith is the ability to not panic.

2. If you worry, you didn't pray. If you prayed, don't worry.

3. As a child of God, prayer is kinda like calling home every day.

4. Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.

5. When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants us to be still so He can untangle the knot.

6. Do the math. Count your blessings.

7 God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.

8. Dear God: I have a problem. It's me.

9. Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted.

10. Laugh every day -- it's like inner jogging.

11. The most important things in your home are the people.

12. Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional.

13. There is no key to happiness. The door is always open. Come on in.

14. A grudge is a heavy thing to carry.

15. He who dies with the most toys is still dead.

16. We do not remember days, but moments. Life moves too fast, so enjoy your precious moments.

17. Nothing is real to you until you experience it; otherwise it's just hearsay

18. Its all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again. Just be sure to flush when you are done.

19. Surviving and living your life successfully requires courage. The goals and dreams you're seeking require courage and risk-taking. Learn from the turtle, it only makes progress when it sticks out it's neck.

20. Be more concerned with your character than your reputation. Your character is what you really are, while your reputation is... Merely what others think you are.

No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting. Leave gentle fingerprints on the soul of another for the angels to read. I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.

A newborn's conversation with God

2008-01-25T00:16:00.000-08:00
**A friend from a website that I belong to posted this and I thought it was sweet.

A baby asked God, "They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?"

God said,

"Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you."

The child further inquired,

"But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy."

God said,

"Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy."

Again the child asked,

"And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don't know the language?"

God said,

"Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak."

"And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"

God said,

"Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray."

"Who will protect me?"

God said,

"Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life."

"But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."

God said,

"Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you."

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, "God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel's name."

God said,

"You will simply call her, "Mom."

Turn your speakers on!

2008-01-24T11:32:00.000-08:00
Most of you who read this know that music is one of my passions--it has been a big part of my life for many years. But I bet you don't know how far back singing goes for me. I started singing in church when I was only 4 years old under the direction of Sarah Carr Parsons who has been a huge inspiration and mentor to me. I also was a founding member of the "Harrison County children's choir" which originally had less than 20 members and is now known as the Chanticleer Children's Choir which is also directed by Sarah and has grown into a well-known group consisting of 3 seperate aged choirs. I was in Chanticleer through high school and I sang for Sarah in church as well until I went to college where my singing seemed to end. I studied vocal under Pam Krall, and studied Solfege which is training of the sight to sound aspect of vocal music, and training of the ear to increase control of audible pitch. I was selected to attend all-state Children's choir a few times in my young vocal career, as well as performing in 3 young musicians concerts. I especially enjoyed young musicians because I was forced to sing something I had never sung before-Italian. And of course I was in high school band. ANYWAY, enough of my musical background. THe reason I am writing this is to explain my love for music and it's inspiration to me--it is therapy for me. I have started a playlist on the blog with songs that have inspired me during my journey to motherhood. They play randomly but feel free to pick and choose what you would like to hear. If there are any songs you think I would enjoy please feel free to leave the ideas in a comment. The playlist should load automatically and is shown on the footer of each page. ENJOY!

WOW

2008-01-22T00:49:00.000-08:00
Today I got to experience the harder side to motherhood. The babies that I have bragged on and gone on and on about how perfect they are....well they are gone. And in their place, if only (HOPEFULLY) temporarily, are these two screaming inconsolable warm bodies that seem to think I am out to get them. From the time we woke up this morning (they wouldn't sleep in their cribs so I had to put them in bed with me, which as it turns out is not as easy or as fun as it used to be) to about 5 minutes ago they have not let me get a moment of peace. Everyone in our families has gotten the stomach bug and now we are petrified that the girls will get it too, so of course I am worried that is what is making them crazy. But I don't think that is it. Savannah is a bit dramatic on most days but when it is time for bed, she usually just goes right to sleep...NOT TONIGHT! But I did finally discover what is wrong with Mady...a HORRID diaper rash that I think may be developing into a yeast infection (yes, babies can get yeast infections). She gets rashes frequently and I can get them under control fairly easily, but this one is out of control. I had to give her tylenol and an oatmeal bath to even get her to calm down...poor little thing, I feel like the worst mother in the world even though I know there is nothing I could have done to prevent it. I change her very often, sometimes when she is bairly wet. Anyway, I really felt like bursting into tears so many times today, but then I talked to a friend of mine who experienced a pregnancy loss and all I can do is be thankful yet again. I can't even imagine what she is going through and my heart goes out to her. If you are reading this, please know that I am thinking about you and my prayers are with you and your husband. That may be the hardest thing a woman can go through. I know though in my heart that God has a plan for you and you have to hold on to your faith...I know how important your faith is to you. Please, those of you who read my blog, say a prayer for my friend that she has the strength to overcome this and move on and keep pursuing her dream of becoming a mother.

5 Months

2008-01-09T13:34:00.000-08:00
Because we haven't found a new outlet for our pictures I will post a few up, since so many of you have been asking!

Mady having fun in the saucer...

Savannah

Mady had a cold....

Bathtime!!

The price of a miracle

2008-01-08T23:17:00.000-08:00
A little girl went to her bedroom and pulled a glass
jelly jar from its hiding place in the closet.

She poured the
change out on the floor and counted it carefully. Three times, even. The
total had to be exactly perfect. No chance here for mistakes.

Carefully placing the coins back in the jar and twisting on the
cap, she slipped out the back door and made her way 6 blocks to Rexall's
Drug Store with the big red Indian Chief sign above the door.

She
waited patiently for the pharmacist to give her some attention, but he was
too busy at this moment. Tess twisted her feet to make a scuffing noise.
Nothing. She cleared her throat with the most disgusting sound she could
muster. No good. Finally she took a quarter from her jar and banged it on
the glass counter. That did it!

'And what do you want?' the
pharmacist asked in an annoyed tone of voice. I'm talking to my brother
from Chicago whom I haven't seen in ages,' he said without waiting for a
reply to his question.

'Well, I want to talk to you about my
brother,' Tess answered back in the same annoyed tone. 'He's really,
really sick... and I want to buy a miracle.'

'I beg your pardon?'
said the pharmacist.
'His name is Andrew and he has something bad
growing inside his head and my Daddy says only a miracle can save him now.
So how much does a miracle cost?'

'We don't sell miracles here,
little girl. I'm sorry but I can't help you,' the pharmacist said,
softening a little.

'Listen, I have the money to pay for it. If it
isn't enough, I will get the rest. Just tell me how much it
costs.'

The pharmacist's brother was a well dressed man. He stooped
down and asked the little girl, 'What kind of a miracle does your brother
need?'

'I don't know,' Tess replied with her eyes welling up. I just know he's
really sick and Mommy says he needs an operation. But my Daddy can't pay
for it, so I want to use my money.'

'How much do you have?' asked
the man from Chicago.

'One dollar and eleven cents,' Tess answered
barely audibly.

'And it's all the money I have, but I can get some
more if I need to.'

'Well, what a coincidence,' smiled the man. 'A
dollar and eleven cents--- the exact price of a miracle for little
brothers.'

He took her money in one hand and with the other hand he
grasped her mitten and said 'Take me to where you live. I want to see your
brother and meet your parents. Let's see if I have the miracle you need.'

That well dressed man was Dr. Carlton Armstrong, a surgeon,
specializing in neuro-surgery. The operation was completed free of charge
and it wasn't long until Andrew was home again and doing well.

Mom
and Dad were happily talking about the chain of events that had led them
to this place.

'That surgery,' her Mom whispered. 'was a real
miracle. I wonder how much it would have cost?'

Tess smiled. She
knew exactly how much a miracle cost... one dollar and eleven
cents....plus the faith of a little child.

In our lives, we never
know how many miracles we will need.

A miracle is not the
suspension of natural law, but the operation of a higher law. I know
you'll keep the ball moving!

Here it goes. Throw it back to
someone who means something to you!

A ball is a circle, no
beginning, no end. It keeps us together like our Circle of Friends. But
the treasure inside for you to see is the treasure of friendship you've
granted to me.

Today I pass the friendship ball to
you.

Pass it on to someone who is a friend to you.

MY OATH
TO YOU...

When you are sad..... I will dry your tears.

When
you are scared..... I will comfort your fears.

When you are
worried..... I will give you hope.

When you are
confused..... I will help you cope.

And when you are lost.... And
can't see the light, I shall be your beacon..... shining ever so bright.

This is my oath.....I pledge till the end.

Why you may
ask?..... Because you're my friend.

Signed: GOD

We'll miss you, Grandma!

2008-01-08T19:32:00.000-08:00
One week ago tomorrow, my grandmother, Edna Dotson McAfee passed away. She was 93 years old and it was her time, but it is still sad. Without her, I wouldn't be here. She was in the hospital for 2 weeks until she passed away from renal failure. She got to see her great-granddaughters and hold them and that was incredible. She will be greatly missed. Here is her obituary.

McAfee, Edna Dotson

Date of Birth:.June 24, 1914 Date of Death:.Jan. 2, 2008

Edna Dotson McAfee, of Harrison Street, Clarksburg went home to be with her Lord on
Jan. 2, 2008 following a brief illness at United Hospital Center. She was born in Alvy, WV
on June 24, 1914, the daughter of the late Joshua and Amma Ashenhart. Three brothers, Glenn, Ralph and Darrell “Doc” Ashenhart, also preceded her in death.
Edna was first married to the late Sanford W. Dotson who died in 1971. She is survived by her son and daughter-in-law Wade and Nancy Dotson and daughter and son-in-law Carl and Tonya Dotson Stephens. Six grandchildren, Jason, Jeremy, and Josh Dotson, Lindsay Miller, Meredith Dotson Payez and Gena Davis. Three great grandchildren, Ethan Dotson and Savannah and Madyson Payez. She is also survived by three step grandchildren, Larry and Jerry Stephens and Rose Stephens Wilkinson and ten step- great grandchildren.
Edna was also married to the late W. K. “Mac” McAfee who preceded her in death in 2002. She is survived by his children Keith Kenneth McAfee and William B. McAfee, five step grandchildren and six step-great grandchildren.
Edna leaves behind her loving caregivers, Kathy Mayle, Laura Swiger, and Beverly Surock. Also her special friend and angel, Sharlene Helmick.
Edna worked in Washington, DC for the United States Government during World War II. She was
a loving mother and homemaker until her children were raised. She then worked in retail clothing
at the Smart Shop, O. J. Morrison’s Department Store and retired from the Boy’s Shop at Melet’s Clothing Store.
Edna was a member of the Central Church of Christ and a former Children’s Sunday School Teacher. She was a graduate of West Virginia Business College and a member of the Order of Eastern Stars, Mannington Lodge.
Friends will be received at the Davis-Weaver Funeral Home, 329 East Main St., Clarksburg
from 2-4 & 6-8 p.m. Friday where a funeral service will be held at 11 a.m., Sat., Jan. 5, 2008
with Evangelist Perry Henegar and Evangelist Darrell Henderson presiding. Interment will
be in the Cedar Grove Cemetery, Shirley, WV.

4 Month Check Up

2007-12-21T00:18:00.000-08:00
Well a few things have been happening around the Payez household recently. Firstly, against the wishes of our parents, we got the girls' ears pierced. I know what many of you are thinking but after researching the subject to death and asking around, I also agreed with Justin (who wanted it done to begin with!) It really was no big deal...yes they both fussed but only for about 3 minutes and then they were back to their smiling, happy selves. And they do look pretty darn cute, though they will look much much cuter once they actually get some more hair.

And onto their check-up. Well it went really well (or so I originally had thought.) They were weighed and measured as usual which I was especially anxious for. Mady weighed in at 12 lbs. and is 24 inches long while Savannah topped the scale at 14 lbs. and is also 24 inches long. I will have you know that 2 lbs. is a lot of difference when they are they same length!!! Mommy's little piggy! BUT I am so happy to have such healthy and thriving babies. And Dr. Mitchell says Savannah is perfectly in the middle of the average while Mady is slightly under average but no big deal. Then came the hard part...the second set of shots. I really thought that after the first set went so well and getting their ears pierced was so easy that this would be too. NOPE! They each got 3 more shots in their thighs which of course made them turn beet red and scream, but it was the after affects that have been so hard. Tonight I went to my parents house to help my dad with his iPod and they were just soo incredibly un-soothable, for lack of a better word. Usually they fuss a bit because they want picked up or played with or their diaper changed but tonight their was no consoling them. My mom, who usually proves to be an excellent calming-aid even failed in her attempts. SO after an hour or so, I just came home and laid on the living room floor with them and gave them some baby tylenol, which seemed to help a bit. After they calmed down some I fed them their night-time bottle and off to the bath we went. Well the bath went great with Mady, she actually smiled...until Mommy did a horribly stupid thing. I went to put lotion on her (as I do every night) and rubbed her thighs. BIG BIG BIG mistake--I very obviously hurt my poor little pumpkin and I thought she was going to hyperventilate. So after about 45 minutes of walking her and making amends I put her in my bed as I bathed Savannah (which went well because I made her remind me...no lotion!) Needless to say, I feel horrible and they are now both beside me sound asleep. Poor little things, they definitely had a rough day. Little do they know that the best day of the year is just around the corner and we are in for an incredible Christmas. Speaking of which, I am so excited...tomorrow I am going to bake Christmas cookies with Kelley while Justin watches the girls! YAY! And everyone comes into town tomorrow night as well (can you tell I am excited?) Off to bed I go to join my darling girls. Have a VERY merry and safe Christmas!!!!

One year ago today.

2007-12-15T00:20:00.000-08:00
It was December 15th of last year that we made the final step in our journey to becoming pregnant. I remember it like it was this morning and my 3 little embryos were transferred from their petri dish into their real-life incubator--ME. With Justin holding my hand, we watched as they were injected into my uterus and looking back I am overcome with emotion. I am a rollercoaster of emotions as I finally read the final chapter in a book I held near and dear for so long. "Unsung Lullabies-Understanding and Coping with Infertility." That last chapter was titled "After you have done all you can you, you must know when enough is enough" and IVF was my enough. Those who have children easily could never understand what it feels like to go through the struggle of infertility. In the book, you get to pick your ending. Lucky for us, we got to skip to "Parenting after infertility." The author says it so well..."Although becoming a parent will not erase the trauma you have experiences, it does help you begin healing some of the wounds caused by your experience. So long excluded from the 'club,' you can now breathe a sigh of relief; you finally have joined the ranks of your contemporaries, your elders, and what has sometimes seemed like the rest of the world, as parents." No longer do I feel inadequate or like a failure that I couldn't give Justin a child. Today marks the anniversary of the beginning of the best years of our lives. It is so heartbreaking for me when I know of someone who is going through what we went through, and I just want to scream to these people that there are ways, and they must do everything in their power to make their dream become a reality. And in some strange way, I am grateful. I feel that God does work in mysterious ways. I will never take my children for granted and when they are screaming and I feel like I will melt if I change another diaper, I think back to the days when I sat and thought about what my life would be like if I were to never have children....and I cry. It is because of this great pain that I feel so much joy...I swear no woman ever loved a child like I love mine. I know of a few people who read my blog who are going through this pain and I want to tell you that the end does justify the means.

Trying to get a better schedule...

2007-12-14T00:29:00.000-08:00
I have always bragged that the girls are such good sleepers, but what I may not have been saying is that they (like their mom) are night owls. Which isn't a bad thing, but I do need some time to do things around the house (not to mention I LOVE taking baths in the winter and have yet to take one so far). ANYWAY, I have been trying to get them to bed earlier, slowly. Well hooray, tonight they went to bed at 12:30 (after a few whining moments). And yes this is early to us.

AND since I am posting, a few other things have happened the past few days. We started them on rice cereal in their nighttime bottles because they are just very hungry. But for the first time, tonight Savannah ate the cereal from a spoon!!!!! YAY FOR SAVANNAH!!!!! It was very funny. I made it thicker than I have been--actually more like oatmeal (though not that thick) and just kind of put the spoon in her mouth and slid the cereal into her mouth. Well, she just wasn't so sure what to do with it, so then I got the bright idea of cereal in mouth then binky. Well ta daa! She figured it out and then boy was she going after that spoon. But between her mouth and her onesie she managed to finish off 2 tablespoons which is quite a bit for a tiny person. I am so proud of my little pumpkin. I have yet to try it with Mady but I might tomorrow sometime.

Last weekend we went to Justins dads company Christmas party and here are a few cute pics.

4 Months

2007-12-10T01:55:00.000-08:00
Savannah Grace and Madyson Avery are officially 4 months old...I CANNOT believe it! It scares me how fast time goes by. I feel like every second I am away from them or asleep is time wasted. I so look forward to much more with them and at the same time I am sad for the things that are gone. I am so sentimental and rarely a day goes by that I don't think about the day they were born and the incredible joy that I felt...not that I do not still feel that joy. But after such a long battle, and an incredible but long wait to meet my twins, knowing that they were about to be born, and hearing their cries for the first time--those feelings can never be recreated. And I never want to forget the way I felt that day so I keep living the moments in my mind and praying that 50 years from now, I will still be able to go back to that place and feel that way again, because I know that because time goes so fast, I need to hold on to those memories and so many more that are to come. There were so many nights that I cried myself to sleep thinking that I would never get to feel this way, and now sometimes I cry myself to sleep because I do feel this way and I don't want to forget what it feels like...how ironic. Every morning that I go into their room and see their sleepy eyes and that perfect little grin I can't believe how lucky I am. It is hard to imagine my life before them. What was it that I lived for before I was their mom? I stare at them taking in every aspect of their faces, knowing that tomorrow something will have changed. Wow, am I a softy or what? I was a romantic before but now it's just ridiculous. For all of you moms who are reading this, whether your baby is a week old or 30 years old, think back to the moment that incredible person came into the world, and the way you felt....wouldn't you do anything to keep that memory fresh???

Christmas Pictures

2007-11-09T20:39:00.000-08:00
Just a few to tide you over!

My daughter's hands

2007-11-08T01:20:00.000-08:00
An excerpt from "Chicken Soup for the New Mom's Soul"

Her hand. It's a plump little thing, dimpled, smooth, and creamy white. I have always loved looking at my children's hands, but tonight as I looked at hers, I was overwhelmed with happiness, and a little sadness, to thing of where those hands will travel. Tonight they are flawless little hands, untested by life's challenges and inexperienced in its joys. But where will those little hands go tomorrow, and the next day and the next?

One day soon those little hands with let go of mine as she takes her first step. They'll grasp a pencil as she clumsily learns to write. They'll grip bicycle handlebars with a mix of joy and horror as her daddy runs behind her holding on, almost ready to let go.

In her teenage years those hands will wipe away many adolescent tears and slam many doors, but maybe, if I play my cards right, they'll still reach out for mine every now and then.

They'll pack her belongings as she leaves home. And they'll open our front door again as she comes back to visit. Often is she knows what is good for her.

How I pray that those precious hands spend more time spread in joy, rather than clenched in anguish. But wherever they travel, I hope they are often clasped in prayer. I hope they are helpful hands, and merciful ones, and I hope they always have many, many other hands to grab onto.

They'll wear a diamond from a handsome young man, and they'll loosely hold her father's tuxedoed arm, eager to reach out for her future at the end of the aisle.

Those hands will grasp the bedsheets in pain as she fights to deliver her child, and they'll tremble in joy when she holds him or her for the first time. They'll feel many little forheads, apply many band-aids, and hold open many books. And then, one night, she'll rock that baby to sleep, and she'll stare in bittersweet wonder at its little hands.

3 Months

2007-11-08T01:09:00.000-08:00
Wow, in two days my baby girls will be 3 months old! They are so incredible--everyday I feel more and more blessed and I look so forward to spending my life with them. I am sure you are all so sick of reading this but this is MY blog, so you do not have to read it (ha ha just kidding)! Today marked a milestone for us. They have been sleeping in their own cribs for the past 2 or 3 weeks now which is HUGE for us...and they are sleeping through the night which is fantastic for mom. BUT that's not the milestone...I was in their room putting their clothes away and they were both laying in Savannah's crib (this was the first time they had been in the crib together in a few weeks) and they were just staring at eachother and Savannah just started laughing and Mady was just in shock and was just smiling at her...it was like they just noticed eachother for the first time. So they were laying there facing eachother smiling and started reaching out for eachother. They put their hands together and I swear my heart just melted right there. I have never felt so incredible...I couldn't help it and the tears just started to roll. It was one of those moments in life where nothing could ever feel any better than that. I realized then how close they are going to be...how truly special the bond is with twins. I have to start taking more pictures because they are getting SOO big. We are getting pictures taken this week so then I can put them up. We are going to Palm Beach for Thanksgiving (if I haven't already posted about this) and are getting so excited. I can't help but look back at last years blog at this time and feel so lucky. I was under so much pressure and was so scared that my chances on achieving my dream of motherhood were going to end and now a year later I have not one but two babies and my heart couldn't be any fuller. If I had any idea then how incredible it would be, I would have been even more anxious than I already was. Wow how incredible my life is at the moment.

In other news, I have also decided to try for my other dream...becoming a registered nurse. I applied to the program at Fairmont State 4 years ago (wow has it been that long???) but didn't get in (the program is very competitive) so now I have decided to try again for next fall. This is what I really want to do so I have to pursue it, but if I don't get in again I will know it wasn't meant to be. I already have my bachelor's degree so I will be happy with that but I would love to be a nurse.

AND Congrats to my big sis (sorority) Courtney on finding out that she is expecting a baby boy this March! ( I knew she is an avid reader to my blog as I am to hers). I am so happy for you Court, and I can't begin to tell you how incredible motherhood is!!!!

Has it really been this long???

2007-10-25T20:46:00.000-07:00
I can't believe it has been this long since I last posted. For all of you dedicated readers, I apologize. I have to say that as I type this, I am back and forth between the girls' room. They have been pretty good at sleeping through the greater part of the night (12-7 or so) since about 6 weeks but now I am trying to put them down at around 10 and so far it's not working out so great. The worst part of it is the backache that I get from bending over their cribs a million times to put a binky in their little mouth or just to brush their cheek to assure them that I am there. Savannah has some serious separation issues and doesn't like to be put down, she constantly wants to be held which would be great and fine if I didn't have 2 babies to console. I take all of this in stride because I know that if all else fails I can feed them and put them into bed with me and more than likely they will sleep--but this is the habit I am trying to break. They are getting so incredibly big that it amazes me everyday. They already have incredible personalities and I am anxious to see if they stay this way or if they will grow and change in this way also. Madyson is so laid back and Savannah...well she is a little drama queen.

They were baptized last Sunday and were adorable in their little white dresses...I will post pictures when I can. I can't begin to explain how proud I was to stand in the front of the church with the girls and Justin...my perfect little family. We have VERY cute halloween costumes that my mom (Nana as she is being called) is altering for them and we will definitely take lots of pictures. Well, they woke up and I don't think the early to bed thing is going to work so I am taking them downstairs to hang out for a while and get nice and tired because I really want them to sleep in their own cribs (which has been successful the past two nights).

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!

**Check out the video montage link on the right side of the page!

***By the way, on the main page where it says "our baby girls" is a link to our flickr account that we update regularly!

Too cute, had to share!

2007-10-13T08:04:00.000-07:00
Like I said in the previous post, this week the girls have really started smiling a lot and looking sooo cute. Well here are some cute pics from yesterday. **For those of you who can't tell, Mady is in the red and Savannah is in the "prison stripes."

2 Month Already

2007-10-11T20:44:00.000-07:00
Oh how the time flies by! I cannot believe that my girls are already 2 months old. It really seems like yesterday that they were born and now looking at those pictures it is amazing how much they have changed in such a short time. Today we went to Dr. Mitchell's office for our 2 month appointment and their first shots. They got 7 shots total in 3 injections. Justin and I were both really skeptical about the shots due to the amount of critical press they are getting right now about infant vaccines. We talked with him about the pro's and cons of getting them and decided that it was ok as long as they are mercury free. The chances of them getting something by not getting vaccinated is greater than going on the skepticism of some people. I really feel there isn't enough to back up all the talk about the link between vaccines and autism. I cried right along with my babies as they got their first shots. I never thought I would be like this but motherhood has changed so many things about me, including my paranoia about the things I never would have before. People are so right when they say that when your child is in pain that you will do anything to protect them. I wanted to smack the nurse that was hurting my babies and as I saw the tears running down their little cheeks, I cried too. Fortunately the tears were short-lived and as soon as we held them they calmed down and so far they haven't been too fussy or had fevers (thanks to infant tylenol I think). They also go weighed...Mady weighs 9 lbs. 6 oz. and is 20.5 inches long and Savannah is 9 lbs. 12 oz. and 22 inches long. It's crazy how Savannah was so much smaller and now passed Mady up completely. Other than that everything was good. Dr. Mitchell says they are perfect and he is very happy with how they are thriving so much.

Also this week they both started smiling and following us with their eyes. Madyson also enjoys watching TV, especially Grey's Anatomy! Everyday is better than the last and we are so blessed and feel so much love for our miracle babies. We don't go back until December 20th. They are getting baptized next Sunday, the 21st so we are excited about that. We bought them precious dresses for the occasion and will post pictures for sure.

That's it for now, thanks for checking in on us!!!

So in love

2007-10-02T21:36:00.000-07:00
It is so amazing to me the amount of love and emotion I feel for my daughters. They are the most incredible little people and I am just amazed everyday how much of an impact they have on my life. They have made my life make sense for the first time. Every breath I take is for them and I know how cliche it sounds, but they really are the reason I get up in the mornings. I could never have imagined the bond that a mother shares with her child, especially in my case. I look at them sleeping beside me at this very moment and tears just fill my eyes. This could have easily slipped right away and the thought of them not being here makes my heart want to stop beating. Twins...how amazing. They already have an incredible bond with eathother--they share something so incredible. I just had to share my feelings right now as they are so overwhelming. Being their mother is the reason I was born, I know that now for sure.

Before I was a mom...

2007-10-02T14:18:00.000-07:00

Before I was a Mom I never learned the words to a lullaby.

I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom - I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Drooled on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple little grin.
I never sat up for hours watching a baby sleep.

I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom - I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.

I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

I had never known the warmth, The joy, The love, The heartache, The wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.

6 Weeks

2007-09-26T14:58:00.000-07:00
So sorry I haven't been posting. Things have been busy as I am sure you can imagine. This week was a milestone for us. The girls turned 6 weeks old and are doing so well. I also had my post-delivery check-up with Dr. Hembree on Monday and everything is doing well on my end. We are really adjusting well to having them in our lives. I couldn't imagine not having them around. I can't post too long at the moment because I am sure they will be waking up at any moment. This week is also busy because Brent and Amanda are getting married this weekend (YAY FOR THEM)! I will post some pictures of the festivities next week sometime.

After we went to Dr. Hembree's office, we stopped at Dr. McGinnis's to show off the girls and although he is out of town, the women in the office (especially Karen) went crazy over them which made me feel so great! While we were there they gave us the CD with their pictures on them from the day of the egg retrieval until the day they were transferred into my belly. We also got the dish (petri dish) that they were incubated in. How neat is that??? Here are the VERY first pics of my precious girls!

Key: Day 0 is the day of the retrieval and day 3 was the day of transfer!

Embryo A

Day 0 (my egg) Day 1 (after fertilization)

Day 2 (5 cell) Day 3 (7 cell grade B--Excellent)

Embryo B

Day 0 (Being fertilized) Day 1

Day 2 (2 cell) Day 3 (8 cell Grade A---PERFECT)

The Birth Story (condensed)

2007-08-11T16:24:00.000-07:00
All day Thursday I was having a really bad backache and Justin told me to call the doc. I was sure it was nothing more than having a huge belly that was making me uncomfortable so I just sat around most of the day. That night I went to my friend Kelley's house when Justin went to work (around 10). We were sitting on her porch and I just couldn't get comfortable at all and Kelley and Justin kept telling me to call Labor and Delivery just to make sure I shouldn't be doing something, etc. So I finally called (reluctantly) and she (the nurse) told me to get checked out. I didn't want to go b/c I was only dilated 1/2 cm. 4 days earlier and was sure nothing was happening. Well Justin wound up talking me into going to Ruby. We get there (at 3 am) and I was making fun of the fact that they made me ride in a wheelchair to the L&D floor. I get to the room (which was incredible by the way) and the doc comes in to check me out. I was 3-4 cm. and almost totally effaced. I can't believe it So the doc tells me she can feel a head nice and low, but did an ultrasound to make sure. Well it wasn't a head, it was Savannah's butt. So she decided that we should have a c-sec that day. WHOA! They were crazy busy and had to send all the scheduled c-secs and inductions home. I was supposed to be 3rd but after about 5 hours of labor my contractions were strong and close together--I was progressing pretty quickly so I was bumped up to the 2nd surgery of the day and was taken back at 9:30. The girls were born at 10:13 and are so perfect. The section was scary but the second I heard those cries, my heart just melted and my world changed. Mady spent the first night in the NICU because she had low blood sugar but it came up and she came back the next morning. We were supposed to go home on Monday but I developed a fever and discovered I had an infected uterus. I had a round of IV antibiotics and got to go home on Tuesday morning thankfully. The first two weeks were really rough on me emotionally as I was coming down from some really high hormone levels but now I am really starting to feel normal again and couldn't imagine my life before the girls. The recovery has been a breeze...the first few days in the hospital I was sore but by the time I came home I was fine and now all I have is a scar to remind me. Of course I am SOO busy but I am hoping to be updating regularly again very soon. Keep checking the link I posted previously and we will keep updating it with pics.

One pic that I really want everyone to see I am posting now. Saturday morning we got a surprise visitor...Dr. McGinnis strolled right into the room...I just about cried, and he looked so proud to see the girls doing so well. I thanked him for my angels and told him that they wouldn't be here without him (if you don't know who Dr. McGinnis is, you need to read this blog from the beginning)! He wants us to bring them to the office to show everyone and we are planning on doing that at my next appt. with Dr. Hembree at the end of September.

They're Here!

2007-08-11T01:40:00.000-07:00
http://www.flickr.com/photos/justinpayez/sets/72157601405028310/
More info to come soon! We are so in love with our angels!

36 Week Appt.

2007-08-06T21:06:00.000-07:00
It's Monday again, appointment day and today was a slight DISappointment. I just was hoping that maybe something was happening but no of course not. We had an ultrasound also and the girls are weighing in at 6 lbs. 10 oz. and 6 lbs. 1 oz. Just let me tell ya, that 12 (almost 13) pounds is really taking its toll on me physically. I feel like I ran a marathon without training! They moved again, too, and are now semi-transverse (which means that the first one is frank breech). If they stay in this position there will be no doubt that I will be having a c-section which is ok by me, I just want to know so I can prepare myself. Dr. Hembree wasn't at the appointment this week but the midwife that I saw said she will most likely be scheduling something next week. I REALLY hope that she schedules it FOR next week as well. The nurses at the office are all amazed that I am still pregnant considering how big the babies are and how small my frame is. I have no swelling, stretch marks, or high blood pressure and apparently this doesn't happen often with twins. I am very grateful but I am not sleeping at all because no matter how I sleep, there is always a baby in the way, and I am just really ready to meet them. I keep telling myself, one more week, one more week. This time I mean it....ONE MORE, THAT IS IT! :) I AM very happy that they are growing so well and will be born strong and healthy, don't get me wrong, I am just so anxious now as is Justin. I haven't taken a 36 week picture yet but I will for sure soon. Well that's about it for now!!!!!

35 Weeks

2007-07-30T20:38:00.000-07:00
35 Week appointment today went very well. Both babies were very active so the NST was fine. Dr. Hembree discussed what to do should I go into labor or what she will do if I don't and how I want to deliver (which I am still not 100% sure about). My belly is now measuring at 49 weeks and she says they are "some good size girls" and thinks they probably weigh 6 lbs. already. But I didn't gain any weight since last week so I am still around 15 lbs. gained so far. Here's to hoping that they come soon and give me some relief!!!!!!! Of course, here is a pic taken last night.

34 Week Appt.

2007-07-26T22:01:00.000-07:00
We had another nst which went fine. Baby A was sleeping and they couldn't get a good enough reading so Dr. Hembree used this weird buzzer thing and put it to my belly and woke her up from apparently a deep sleep...I really thought she was going to pop out my belly button! Well it worked--her heart rate went from 150 to 175 in a matter of seconds. Poor little thing, can't get a moments rest in there! That is why she just needs to come out! Dr. Hembree also told us that if I am still pregnant by August 17th (38 weeks) that we will either induce or have a c-sec. depending on their positions. Thank goodness for that! Justin and I are VERY ready to have our precious girls here. I have another ultrasound scheduled for the 6th which marks 36 weeks (my goal)! There was a 15% difference in their sizes at the last ultrasound and if they are close to 25% different then, she will probably just go ahead and deliver (not that this is uncommon, but just to be on the safe side). 15% is nothing, really...only about a pound and most twins are different sizes, especially fraternals. I just need to make it a little bit longer and we will be there. My bags are packed and are in the car and everything is done that needs done. YAY! Now we just need the babies here.

34 Weeks

2007-07-21T10:56:00.000-07:00
And the countdown is ON! The average gestation for twins is 36 weeks...thats TWO WEEKS AWAY! AHH! I couldn't be more excited at this point. Here is my 34 week pic....yes I am pretty darn uncomfortable now, but still enjoying every moment!

Nursery Pictures

2007-07-18T22:14:00.000-07:00
We have finally finished the nursery and here are some pics!

View from the door

Their coming home outfits with matching receiving blankets.

Appointment

2007-07-17T21:03:00.000-07:00
Yesterday we got to go back to Dr. Hembree and let me just tell you how excited I was to see her! We had our first non-stress test (NST) where they monitor the babies' heartrates for an hour then analyze the results. It was uncomfortable to say the least but I had better get used to it because we have to get one every Monday from now on. There was a slight issue with the results and Dr. Hembree asked us to come back after the ultrasound (we had both appointments back to back so we wouldn't have to drive 2 different days). I was a little worried why she wanted us to come back but she ended up doing another NST on one of the babies and did a biophysical ultrasound because Baby "A" wasn't having a huge change in her heartrate when she moved around. Everything showed that she was fine and probably just cramped (maybe her sister was hogging space)? The ultrasound tech estimates them to weight 5 lbs. and 5 1/2 lbs. each give or take about 10 oz. That is still a great size for twins at 33 weeks so we were thrilled about that. As far as the gestational diabetes goes, she agrees that I did indeed "flunk" the 3 hr. test but just "by a hair." She said if I didn't want to see the dietician that I didn't have to (HA Dr. Merzouk!) but that she recommended it just because, so I told her I would go. She also said that my numbers were totally fine for the first week I checked them and even after eating a bag of skittles (OOPS!) that I was still in the normal range so she said I only have to check them 3 days a week. YIPPEE! And that big ole' belly in the picture below (that I STILL can't believe I had the courage to post) is measuring 42 weeks. Yep, so all of you women out there who have had a singleton, remember how you felt when you were close to delivering and imagine going to 42 weeks! She even suggested that I try physical therapy a few times just to insure that my "tiny frame" (can you believe someone called ME tiny???) wouldn't be injured. I still feel fine, though--getting a little uncomfortable at times, but I shampoo'd the carpet in the girls' room today and that required moving both of the cribs around and I am still fine so who knows.

And for those who are curious, YES I am nesting. As a matter of fact every single piece of laundry (including everything from the shower) has been washed and put away. And everything is laid out that I will be taking to the hospital, so I am really ready now! The nursery is slightly out of sorts still from the shampooing adventure today but as soon as the carpet dries and I am able to put things back on the floor, I will be sure to post lots of pictures. It really does look sweet, but will be incomplete until Madyson and Savannah are here. Enough rambling, you can tell I am bored because Justin is as work! SO....that's all I will say for now.

33 Weeks

2007-07-14T00:20:00.000-07:00
Well I am going to be daring this week and post a bare belly picture (only because the majority of my shirts no longer cover my belly).

We go to Morgantown on Monday for an ultrasound to see how the girls are growing and also to see Dr. Hembree (YAY)! I REALLY don't think I have GD because my blood-sugar has been low to normal even after eating and drinking sugary stuff. I am going to ask her opinion, none-the-less and if she still wants me to see the dietician, then I suppose I will waste my time and gas money to go because I trust her. Anyway here's the pic that I just took at 3 in the morning because I can't sleep. **I don't know why it's blurry, but you don't need to see all my imperfections anyway! ;o)

Happenings

2007-07-08T22:11:00.000-07:00
This weekend has been very eventful and fun. My brother, sister-in-law and baby nephew came in this weekend for my shower and we have had a great time. My shower was on Saturday and was wonderful! We had a great turnout and the hostesses did an amazing job--it was more than I could have ever hoped for. We got just about everything we could need or want for the girls and are having a great time organizing things and getting all ready.

On another note, I had a doctor's appointment last Thursday where I had to see a different OB as Dr. Hembree was on vacation. It was not a good visit to say the least! First of all, you would think that the doctor would glance at my chart before entering the room and would know that we are having two babies and that it might be necessary to look for two hearbeats instead of one without me having to tell her! Secondly, she tells me that the nurse that interpreted my 3 hour glucose test gave me the results based on the "standard" scale and that she goes by the "strict" scale and based on that, my numbers were "abnormal." They were 2 points above where they should have been on the strict scale which is ridiculous if you ask me! So I have to check my bloodsugar a bunch of times every day and I have to see a dietician (which I am going to put off as long as I can AKA indefinitely). As long as I check my bloodsugar and it is fine (which I KNOW it will be because there is NOTHING wrong with me) then I am not going to change my diet. ANYWAY, I really think it's crazy and everyone I seem to talk to thinks so too.

I am also beginning to feel pretty uncomfortable which is totally expected. I can't get comfortable anywhere, even if I am laying in bed or on the recliner. I am pretty sure the babies are trying to move into the head-down position and it's not working out all that well for them because it is so crowded. I am up and down most of the night and just can't get comfortable during the day either unless I am buoyant which is why I am trying to stay in a pool or lake or anything as much as possible...it really helps a ton.

Maternity Portraits!

2007-07-04T17:20:00.000-07:00
Well Jocelyn is awesome of course and got me some pics just 1 DAY after our session! Here are some favorites...enjoy.

Last but not least....EEEEEK!!!!!! Sorry but that's as big as it gets! HA HA HA!

Quick update....

2007-06-28T22:39:00.001-07:00
I PASSED the 3 hour glucose test! WOOHOO! That means I do NOT have gestational diabetes. I called today and though Dr. Hembree is on vacation this week, her nurse said that my number was "perfect" and that everything was great. Not that it would have been a big deal, but I am just glad that there aren't any obstacles so far (knock on wood). I am getting really excited for my shower next weekend and am SO looking forward to seeing my friends and family that live out of state. On Sunday, my best friend from high school, Jocelyn, who is a photographer is going to take some maternity portraits. She is really awesome and Justin and I are very excited. To see her portfolio visit http://cuninajo.blogspot.com/ and http://www.flickr.com/photos/cuninajo/. Also we go back to Monroeville on Monday for the 2nd attempt at the 4D ultrasound. These girls better behave this time! THEN we also have a doctor's appointment next week. BUSY! But I am happy to have a lot to do, it passes the time. Well that's it for right now. Check out Jocelyn's pictures!

Have a safe and happy 4th of July!!!!

Quick Update!

2007-06-28T22:39:00.000-07:00
I PASSED the 3 hour glucose test! WOOHOO! That means I do NOT have gestational diabetes. I called today and though Dr. Hembree is on vacation this week, her nurse said that my number was "perfect" and that everything was great. Not that it would have been a big deal, but I am just glad that there aren't any obstacles so far (knock on wood). I am getting really excited for my shower next weekend and am SO looking forward to seeing my friends and family that live out of state. On Sunday, my best friend from high school, Jocelyn, who is a photographer is going to take some maternity portraits. She is really awesome and Justin and I are very excited. To see her portfolio visit http://cuninajo.blogspot.com/ and http://www.flickr.com/photos/cuninajo/. Also we go back to Monroeville on Monday for the 2nd attempt at the 4D ultrasound. These girls better behave this time! THEN we also have a doctor's appointment next week. BUSY! But I am happy to have a lot to do, it passes the time. Well that's it for right now. Check out Jocelyn's pictures!

Have a safe and happy 4th of July!!!!

"I Would Die for That"

2007-06-27T02:52:00.000-07:00
Well last night just after I posted my last rant about having to take the 3 hr GTT tomorrow, a friend of mine from one of my websites sent me this link and it really makes me feel GRATEFUL to have to take this test today. Just what I needed at this point, and I really wanted to share it. Any of you with children and those who are still waiting for that miracle will benefit from it. Get the tissues ready, moms!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=JqfGqOx2iDQ

30 Weeks

2007-06-26T18:01:00.000-07:00
Well it's that time again! Belly picture time.... BUT FIRST...I failed my 1 hour glucose tolerance test so tomorrow I have to take the dreadful 3 hr test which is miserable mostly because I have to sit in the waiting room at the doctors office from 7:30 to noon! GAH!!!!! I am going to go INSANE! But hopefully I pass it because I really don't want to have to check my blood sugar every day (if I fail this it means I have gestational diabetes). I don't totally believe the results anyway because there are SO many factors that can affect the test but I will do what my Doctor suggests. Anyway, here is the latest picture. Wish me luck tomorrow!

1st Growth Scan 29 Weeks 4 Days

2007-06-20T14:16:00.000-07:00
Savannah's chubby little face

4D Pictures

2007-06-20T14:14:00.000-07:00
Here are the pics from the 4D session...they are all Savannah's face except for Madyson's feet and arm.

Doctor's appointment and ultrasounds update!

2007-06-19T21:05:00.000-07:00
Well first off, we did have our 4D ultrasound last week and unfortunately the girls didn't want to cooperate with us. They are both breech and facing eachother and love to keep their hands in front of their faces. Savannah was a little bit cooperative at moments so we have a few pictures of her, and we got the DVD of the session but we are going back on July 2nd to see if they will behave a little bit more then. Our scanner is currently not hooked up but we will get the pics on here as soon as we can. We could tell from the 4D that they both have lots of hair and Savannah is a thumb-sucker, which was just too cute to see. She has chubby little cheeks and while we could see Madyson's face, she has very cute and very chubby arms, hands and feet. There is definitely no doubt that they are both girls either as we now have excellent proof of that!

As for our Doctor's appointment yesterday, it went very well. My belly is now measuring at 36 weeks (singleton pregnancy) and I am only 29 so that is right where it should be with two babies. I have gained 7 lbs. since the last appointment which my OB was happy about. That means I have gained 9 total, which is not much at all considering she wanted me to gain around 40, but the babies are thriving so something must be working. I am now going every 2 weeks until they are born, which will be kind of annoying but will help make the time go by faster.

Today we had our first growth scan (ultrasound to make sure both babies are growing at the same rate). Savannah weighs 3 1/2 lbs. and Madyson weighs 3 1/4 lbs. so they are very close. Madyson measures exactly at 29 weeks 4 days (which is what I am today) and Savannah measured a bit ahead at 30 weeks. One thing that did happen that is somewhat worrisome is that Madyson's fluid is low. She has half of the fluid that Savannah has and if it continues to go down they will have to do something about it, whether it is hospitalizing me and infusing her sac with fluid or delivering them early. We still have probably a month before they would consider anything if they even need to. Fluid levels can fluctuate depending on lots of variables but they will definitely monitor her closely with regular ultrasounds from now on. I am not really worried because she does have more than enough fluid to keep her safe for now but if she grows a lot more (hopefully) and the fluid continues to go down it could compress her umbilical cord and lessen her oxygen supply but thankfully they can watch her and that won't have a chance to happen. I will keep updating on the situation obviously but I am sure it will all be fine.

I also had the 1 hour glucose tolerance test to check for gestational diabetes today. I am a little worried about the results because I have insulin issues anyway and I went off the metformin so early in the pregnancy. But whatever happens I will deal with it. The lab tech said they will call me if I failed it and then I will have to do the 3 hour test and if I fail that too then it means I have GD and will have to check my blood sugar regularly and be put on a diet. YUCK! I really really hope that I am fine. I think that is it for now...I will be updating more often now since a lot is going on.

We are going to Annapolis with my parents this weekend for a little getaway before the craziness begins. We will take pics and post them when we get back!

28 Weeks

2007-06-08T00:34:00.000-07:00
Wow the weeks are flying by now! We go for our 4D ultrasound in Pittsburgh this Wednesday and we're SOOO excited about it. Everyone is always asking how I am feeling so I will start telling you in my blogs. LOL! I am feeling WONDERFUL! Yes my ribs are cracking BUT it is because I have two babies in my belly and that is worth any pain that you can throw at me. I get sighs from people all the time, "Oh you poor thing you are going to be so miserable this summer" but honestly I don't think I could possibly be miserable while pregnant. Yes at times it is uncomfortable but even then it is still amazing to me and I don't take one single second of it for granted. I am getting so used to the constant movement but every once in a while I will feel something new and I can't help but smile because I am so grateful. Here is the 28 Week picture of me!

26 Weeks!

2007-05-29T19:43:00.000-07:00

Appointment Today

2007-05-21T23:47:00.000-07:00
We saw Dr. Hembree today and she was perky as ever....She will be a great comfort to me during the process of bringing the girls into the world. As for the weigh-in I have gained a whopping........2 pounds!!!!!!!! I can't believe it, I am eating like a freaking pig after I hadn't gained anything at the last appointment. Still no cause for concern though because my belly is measuring at 31 weeks even though I am only 25 which is perfect for twins. They just must love eachother and love cuddling close, that is all I can figure. We got to see them as always and Savannah was still being photogenic, she gave us a good profile view again and had her arm above her head and was just content swallowing fluid, whild all we got to see of Mady was her back and butt, though she has moved into the head down position which would explain why I constantly feel like my bladder is going to explode. I am starting to feel a lot more drained now than I was even in the first trimester. I require a lot more sleep and a lot more organization than ever before otherwise I get VERY cranky. It is finally beginning to feel like summer now and I couldn't be more excited! That means that the rest of the pregnancy is going to fly by and we will be meeting our little angels soon. We have begun discussing our birth plan and how we want things to progress (per Dr. Hembree's suggestion) and although I am not sure all family members involved will be pleased, we both feel really great about things. That is about it for now but I will report back whenever there is anything interesting. We hope everyone has a great and safe memorial day weekend coming up!!!!!!!

25 Weeks

2007-05-19T21:03:00.000-07:00
Yes I know I am wearing the same shirt...I did that intentionally so I can really see the difference (if there is any).

23 weeks (almost)

2007-05-03T14:08:00.000-07:00

I know...I am a slacker!

2007-05-01T22:31:00.000-07:00
So I know that it has been like 2 weeks since I have posted...please forgive me! ;o) Not much has happened which is good news I suppose. The babies have both been moving like crazy these past few weeks. Savannah who is up close to my ribs is a little kick boxer, I swear she is doing Tai Bo (sp?) in there, and Madyson is still right around my belly button and is a little wiggle worm--while she doesn't necessarily jolt me up with her kicks like her sister, she just constantly rolls around, especially when mommy is trying to sleep. BUT I absolutely love it! Justin felt them both for the first time this week and he agrees that it is very cool and makes it seem so real now. I am actually sitting here and Savannah is literally making my belly jump, it is really incredible. Today we ordered the cribs that my parents are graciously buying for us and they should be in this weekend! While the nursery has been cleared of the previous guest room furnishings, we have yet to really do anything and there is already quite a bit of baby gear collecting in there so we are hoping to get it organized and painted within the next couple of days. My next appointment is in 3 weeks and then we have another growth scan (ultrasound) at 28 weeks. At my last appointment I had yet to gain a pound but Dr. Hembree says everything is fine and that I am losing my pre-preg "fluff" while gaining babies so it is perfect. At this rate, I will be a lot thinner after they are born that I was before I got pregant! FINE BY ME! :) I am feeling excellent and I am totally obsessed with looking at and rubbing my belly. It has really popped out and gotten a lot rounder this week. I will post a picture soon. That is about it for now. Thanks for checking in!!!

THE RESULTS ARE IN!!!!!!!!

2007-04-17T11:46:00.000-07:00
Both babies were quite squirmy but cooperative at the same time. They measured ahead and now my due date based on their size is August 31st. Everything looked perfect on both of them, they weigh 14 oz. each.

Baby A

Baby B

20 Weeks!

2007-04-16T10:27:00.000-07:00
Today marks 20 weeks for us and since the average twin gestation is 36-37 weeks, that puts us past the halfway mark! YAY! We have our "big" ultrasound tomorrow and as long as they cooperate and aren't sleeping, we should hopefully know whether or not to buy pink, blue, or both! Here's a belly pic from today and hopefully I will update with good news tomorrow!

17 Week Appt.

2007-03-26T21:52:00.000-07:00
Well we had our appointment today and everything looks good. She was very surprised how much of a belly I have already and I got my first real belly bump measurement. We had just a quick ultrasound and they were both moving around like crazy. It was incredible how much they have grown since the last time we saw them and they like to be very close together in there. Unfortunately this ultrasound was a crappy one since it was just quick and we didn't get to find out the sexes. So that means we won't find out until April 17th. I guess that isn't so far away but it feels like forever right now. Dr. Hembree says I am probably half-way there at this point, with a full-term twin pregnancy going to around 37 weeks instead of the usual 40. Below I have posted today's picture...like I said it isn't as good as the others. You can see both of their heads together and the baby on the left is facing up---if you look really closely you can see his/her face, torso and left arm bent. I am very much in love with them now and it grows every day. We are so excited to find out what they are so we can give them their names, but you will just have to wait for that! ;o)

16.3 Weeks

2007-03-22T22:22:00.000-07:00
Nothing really new to report but I thought I should update just in case someone is wondering. My belly is definitely growing though it is still right around my belly button. I love laying in bed in the morning--that is really when I can feel it and see it the most. We bought a new car this week so we will be ready when the twins come. After a dealer made me an offer to buy my car that I couldn't refuse, we searched for days high and low until we found the perfect one, a chevy Trailblazer. It has everything that my car had plus a nicer Bose stereo and other perks such as built in XM and OnStar which will be nice for ease of mind with two little ones. There is plenty of room for them and the rear will definitely hold the double stroller and then some. It's a pretty Merlot color and if you know me, I am all about the red so we are really happy with it.
We have our second appointment with Dr. Hembree on Monday afternoon and are praying that she will do another ultrasound and maybe even get a sneak peak at the "money shot" that will let us know to shop for pink or blue, or both. Nothing else even remotely interesting going on. I am SOOO happy it is getting nicer out and I can get out and get some excercise while I still can. I hope everyone is doing well and I will update with whatever news I get from the Doc on Monday. Keep your fingers crossed that everyone is still thriving and that maybe we can know the genders!!! Have a great weekend!!!

15 Weeks!!!

2007-03-11T20:31:00.000-07:00
Well in 30 minutes I will be officially 15 weeks and I have popped..I officially have a baby belly! YAY! Although I just feel fat at this point, Justin assures me that it is in fact a baby belly and that I didn't have it 2 weeks ago. I am starting to really feel much better as far as the morning sickness is concerned, and have started thinking about the nursery. We are really antsy to find out boys or girls but will have to wait 5 more LONG weeks. ARGH! But it will be worth the wait and I will feel much more comfortable at 20 weeks. The babies are still very active though I can't feel them yet, but listening to them with a doppler is like playing that "whack the animal" game at Chuckie Cheese...they move around so much it is hard to keep them in one spot long enough to even count the heartbeats. Here is a pic from today.....

13 Weeks...First OB appointment!

2007-02-26T17:26:00.000-08:00
Well we had our first appointment with Dr. Hembree today and we love her. She is extremely friendly and outgoing and I am super excited. We did get a quick ultrasound on an older machine just to see their heartbeats since it is hard to find twins with the doppler. We didn't get any pics but it was so incredibly cute! Baby A was moving around like a crazy and hitting and kicking his or her twin because Baby B was sleeping and A wanted to play!! They just look like little babies now! We go back for a checkup in a month and scheduled our "big" ultrasound for April 16th to see if they are boys or girls or both!! YAY! 7 weeks and we will know!

*McAfee, Edna Dotson*
Date of Birth:.June 24, 1914	Date of Death:.Jan. 2, 2008
Edna Dotson McAfee, of Harrison Street, Clarksburg went home to be with her Lord on Jan. 2, 2008 following a brief illness at United Hospital Center. She was born in Alvy, WV on June 24, 1914, the daughter of the late Joshua and Amma Ashenhart. Three brothers, Glenn, Ralph and Darrell “Doc” Ashenhart, also preceded her in death. Edna was first married to the late Sanford W. Dotson who died in 1971. She is survived by her son and daughter-in-law Wade and Nancy Dotson and daughter and son-in-law Carl and Tonya Dotson Stephens. Six grandchildren, Jason, Jeremy, and Josh Dotson, Lindsay Miller, Meredith Dotson Payez and Gena Davis. Three great grandchildren, Ethan Dotson and Savannah and Madyson Payez. She is also survived by three step grandchildren, Larry and Jerry Stephens and Rose Stephens Wilkinson and ten step- great grandchildren. Edna was also married to the late W. K. “Mac” McAfee who preceded her in death in 2002. She is survived by his children Keith Kenneth McAfee and William B. McAfee, five step grandchildren and six step-great grandchildren. Edna leaves behind her loving caregivers, Kathy Mayle, Laura Swiger, and Beverly Surock. Also her special friend and angel, Sharlene Helmick. Edna worked in Washington, DC for the United States Government during World War II. She was a loving mother and homemaker until her children were raised. She then worked in retail clothing at the Smart Shop, O. J. Morrison’s Department Store and retired from the Boy’s Shop at Melet’s Clothing Store. Edna was a member of the Central Church of Christ and a former Children’s Sunday School Teacher. She was a graduate of West Virginia Business College and a member of the Order of Eastern Stars, Mannington Lodge. Friends will be received at the Davis-Weaver Funeral Home, 329 East Main St., Clarksburg from 2-4 & 6-8 p.m. Friday where a funeral service will be held at 11 a.m., Sat., Jan. 5, 2008 with Evangelist Perry Henegar and Evangelist Darrell Henderson presiding. Interment will be in the Cedar Grove Cemetery, Shirley, WV.